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Thursday, March 31, 2005
Do Not Forget The Women
I was over reading the very entertaining blog of A Texan Abroad. I noticed a link at her site, clicked on it, and ended up here. I have neither researched nor comfirmed this list to be sure it was complete. If you know of someone left off, Please tell us about them in the comments. I again want to thank those that have made the ultimate sacrifice for their country and their countrymen! Let us not forget those still serving our country here and abroad along with the family members at home, also making sacrifices.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
ZERO TO BITCH IN NO TIME!
OH LORD...THE MOODS ARE SWINGING. I do not know what suddenly swayed my mood, but watch out world. Emily did not want juice and about had a heart attack because there was juice in her cup. I calmed her down and explained to her that she just needed to ask for water. I went and washed out the cup, filled it with water and brought it to the PRINCESS!!! Was this good enough? What a silly question. Of course not!!! In her two year old mind....it is the same cup so it must still have juice. I tried to explain until she threw her cup. BIG MISTAKE SWEETHEART!!!! Emily then got a spanking and sent to her room.
Then, (oh yes there is more) Steven was playing with about a 100 little plastic balls. That was fine until I said please do not throw them over the baby gate into the kitchen. Within seconds, Steven began throwing the balls into the kitchen. Do the WANT to die? So, I spanked Steven's butt and put him in the corner. Is that all you ask? Of course not. There is still one more child who wants to suck what little bit of sanity I have left out of my haggared and withered soul. Ethan begins climbing on the dining room chairs. I keep getting him down. Finally, out of pure exhaustion I give up and let him climb on the chairs. (I know, I know, very bad parenting.) Ethan then knocks the chair over , while he is on it and manages to fall right on the cross bar of the chair legs. GREAT!!!! I am telling you, they are trying to kill me very slowly. The fact that they have given me ,lord knows how many, gray hairs (and not just on my head) just doesn't seem to satisfy these spawns of satan. As you see, today was not one of those sweet, sappy, I love and adore my children days. This was one of those, they better thank their lucky stars Daddy will be home soon and mommy gets to do her bi-monthly grocery shopping tonight. Oh GOD, I am refering to myself in the third person. Calgon take me away.
MICHAEL JACKSON ANYONE
Christy had this on her blog and oh my god you are going to laugh. Please take the time to check it out. WELL WORTH IT.
UPDATE:
I am a dumbass. It is spelled Christie. Oops...sorry CHRISTIE!!!
Vomit anyone?
I found this picture and (I know it is disgusting) I could not stop laughing. Could you imagine being this kids parents? Do you just frame that sports picture for the hallway or make copies for everyone you know?
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
YOU KNOW YOU HAVE WONDERED
I can't remember if I have mentioned this or not but my darling neighbor Amy is now a rep for the sex toy company FOR YOUR PLEASURE. Seeing as how I just love the little sweetie, I want to do all I can to support her business. This means I am having her first party. While perusing the catalog I received as the hostess, I saw (hee-hee) cockrings. I have seen them before on the SUNDAY NIGHT SEX SHOW on the Oxygen Network. I have always wondered and now, thanks to Fickle Whimsy I no longer wonder. I had to change my underwear her story was so funny. (Don't laugh, you have three kids and see how well your bladder holds up.)
Fear The Mullet
My darling friend Tara has a father with a mullet. It is a highly entertaining fact. Last Christmas I got het a t-shirt that says "Fear The Mullet". Her Dad did not find it as amusing as we did. So, when I read this blog and found this website I knew that I was not alone in my love for mullets. Please.....ENJOY!
THIS GUY IS KILLING ME
This guy is so damn funny to me. I think it is because he totally reminds me of Clint before our big, bad transition into adulthood three years ago. Thanks dude for the entertainment and the walk down "remember when we didn't have kids" lane.
Monday, March 28, 2005
Oh What a Day.
Today has been relatively quiet and productive. I boxed up all my e-bay items for Clint to take to the post office, vacuumed the downstairs, put google ads on Clint's blog (so please be sure to click on them...all proceeds go toward student loans), washed and dried two loads of laundry and started a big ass pot of beans (poor man's dinner). I feel like I really am ahead of the game today. I have only beaten the children a hand full of times, that by itself is a huge accomplishment. Of course we still have the afternoon to go. Afternoon hours always seem to be the worst. I am on the downhill slope of the day and the kids are full of energy from the daily naps. I wouldn't trade that quiet time in for anything though. That hour and a half is just enough time to clear my head and to remind myself they are smaller than I am and not to kill them.
Sunday, March 27, 2005
NEW BLOGS TO CHECK OUT
As I was feeding my addiction to surf the blogs, I came across many interesting reads. I have added them to my blog roll. I know a lot of them are associated to motherhood and that could be because I am a mother. Go Figure. I think there are a few more military blogs...Go figure. I think there are also a few hormonal, razy blogs...Go figure. Wait...Wait did I just admit to being crazy? No...NO it is a hormone imbalance. I am completely innocent of any and all charges. (hee-hee-hee)
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Long but worth the read!!!!
As you have probably figured out both my husband and my brother serve in the United States Army. I know most people would assume certain things about me...some will be true and some will be so far from the truth you would be shocked. One truth is that I am in support of freeing those unable to free themselves. Take the time to read this. The United States is doing something good for these people and even the soldiers who put their lives in harms way (as much as we ALL hate it) know they are doing something very profound that will have a positive effect.
Friday, March 25, 2005
BLOG SLUT
That's right...I said it! Blog Slut!!! OH, by the way, I am talking to myself. I get down right giddy when I know people have looked at my blog. I get orgasmic when I know someone has looked at it more than once. (not you marsha or lisa...you do not count...you have to look) Thanks to all you who feed the blog slut.
I don't have much more ass to lose
So, I am sure you have noticed by now (and you damn sure better click on them...I have three children to feed and my husband is in the army) my google ads. They are suppose to pick up key words and offer ads that correspond to your blog. I made a mention of post partum depression and got anti depressant ads for days. Well , now after the Emily / crap story There were Hershey ads. Just so you know (excuse the language), I am laughing my ass off so fucking hard right now, I may have to pick my crap up off the floor.
Oh CRAP!!!! LITERALLY
So, 27 month old Emily is now potty trained. She still wears diapers for nap and bed but she is now officially a panty girl. She is now emptying her own potty into the toilet when she finishes. Impressive you say? Well, it was until tonight. Emily has always had the really hard deer pellet crap...again, until tonight. (She is going to hate these poop talks when she is older.) She sat on her potty and did her usual business while Clint and I sat on our butts and ignored her doing her usual business. BAD MOVE. We didn't know anything was out of the ordinary until a little voice said " I got poop on my hands." OH SHIT!!!! Emily did not have the usual deer pellets tonight...she had the green apple splatters and when she tried to poor that into the toilet, she missed. Being the good little helper she is, she tried to pick it up. OH....MY....GOD!!!! Well, it is all cleaned up, but I am going to get a really BIG glass of wine.
Thursday, March 24, 2005
10 THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW #2
Here are a few more things you should know that people do not always tell you.
1. The warmer the fart, the worse it smells.
2. When you are no longer having a heavy flow day, you should use slimmer tampons...OUCH.
3. It is okay to crap in a public restroom, but you should know that the people in the stall next to you ARE laughing at you.
4. Masturbation is not dirty unless you do not keep your toys clean. GROSS!!
5. Babies understand a lot more than we give them credit for...They will say every cuss word you do. BE CAREFUL SAILOR.
6. Everyone finds corn in their poop after the backyard bar-b-Q. It's not just you. IN CORN...OUT CORN!
7. The older you get the less you know. HONEST!!!
8. They sell EVERYTHING on e-bay. EVERYTHING!
9. The more children you have, the further away from stylish you get. TWO WORDS....MOM BUTT!!
10. We will ALL eventually here our class song on the oldies or classic rock station. EMBRACE IT!!
WITH LOVE
I think in this day and age of high tech we sometimes lose the faces of war. War is a very sad but necessary affair. For the anti-war people, please do not forget these guys are human. As humans, they make mistakes and sometimes they falter. They are you father, brother, mother, sister, uncle, aunt, best friend, husband and wife. The next time you speak in anger about the war...look long and hard at your loved ones and remember, that is who is sacrificing for our country. You do not have to believe in the war, but please believe in our soldiers and their integrity, bravery and honor.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
OH WE WOULD JUST LOVE TO EAT YOU...OOPS I MEANT TO SAY PET YOU!!! 
Steven chokes (hee hee) I mean pets the chicken!!!
Emily with baby goats
Made me go hmmmmmm.....
Okay... final comments on Terri Schiavo. I had several posts and several comments about Terri. My brother of course (bastard) has made me rethink my stand. I was really only looking at the situation from my husband's point of view. However, not to long ago I saw things (somewhat) from Terri's families point of view. I really mean "somewhat" because there is only a small link. My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and her live-in boyfriend (husband of less than a year when she died)encouraged a completely "natural" form of treatment instead of the more aggressive treatments her doctors suggested. About a year later it had spread and was incurable. She of course died when it may have been prevented. We do not know for sure and I guess like Terri's parents I would like to have done everything possible from beginning to end and I absolutely did not agree with her husband. It got ugly and I try not to think about it but Big Brother made a great point. What If? I am just so confused now. If it was my husband I know he would be doing all he could to be sure that the right decision was made and He is sure of what I would want if I was in a vegetative state. What if she is not in a complete vegetative state? Why won't he let them do a few more tests just to be sure? What if I was her family? Oh good grief I do not envy anyone in that mess.....I just do not know now!!!! I (believe it or not) cannot form a concise opinion on the matter. Ugh!!!!!
What if my Mother's husband had pushed for the more radical treatments and she had survived? What if they do more tests and find Terri is not in a vegetative state? What if Terri does rehab and gets better and stronger than she is now? What if they do not do the tests and Terri's poor family has to always ask "what if" like we do? No more...I am gonna go crazy...I love to be in ignorant bliss sometimes...Damn that brother for actually making me see things from all sides!!!!;)
What the?
When Clint and I met, I weighed a whopping 103 lbs (a little to small for my height). When I gave birth to the twins I weighed 170lbs (holy shit you say?). When the twins were four months old, my fertile husband impregnated me again. I had dropped to 130 lbs and by the time Ethan was born I was back up to 170 lbs. Now I'm down to about 115lbs. I am in fairly good shape, I watch what I eat and I have been working out. Why am I telling you this? I want to know when the wrinkly skin on my stomach will go away. When I stand up I have a nice firm, flat stomach. When I lay down all my skin slides to the side. Disgusting!!!!!! Is this going to go away or is this another thing that women have to forever deal with as a reminder of the fact that we have to be pregnant. Sometimes I wish the men had to go through hormone fluctuations, bleed from their privates, have engorged breasts, have babies suck on those sore breast, etc.... Maybe they would quit thinking we are crazy because out of the blue we freak out about the papers sitting on the desk that have been sitting there a week and did not bother us until right at that hormonal moment.
My last complaint for the day (alright honestly, for this post). My darling children (demon spawn) have been begging to go outside. We finally had a semi-decent day yesterday. I got them each dressed (a rare occasion unless we are going somewhere....HEY!!! I have to cut back on laundry somehow), put on their jackets, and out to the backyard we went. I bet you are thinking they were thrilled and just played and played. Well, you are completely wrong. They wanted to come right back in the house. I do not understand. Wait , maybe I do. I guess that is like the boy who likes you at school. You never like him until he quits paying you attention. They want to go outside until they actually can and then the fun of the chase is over. Go grief...is that trait with them from birth? Lord help us all if it is.
This was originallt in another post, but seemed to have gotten lost so I thought I would separate them.
Little Miss Sensitive
Okay...before everyone sends me hate comments about my Terri Schiavo post, let me just say this....My brother as already argued the other side...I am not a cruel person by any means and I do not like for people to suffer....My main argument is that whether we like it or not it is her husbands decision. I am very sensitive today so please if you have a different opinion that is great and feel free to express it but please try to do so as my brother did in a way that is not insulting or personal.
How Cute Can They Get?
The twins are playing hide-n-seek. Steven just came downstairs and yelled "reedie r nit hur I com" or something like that. How cute...they are entertaining themselves and playing nicely. Thank god....that enables me to completely ignore them for awhile and play on the computer. Goodie goodie!!!!!
So much to talk about!
I am so full of opinions (or something) today.
First, I am so tired of the Terri Schiavo drama. I hate that her husband made a medical decision for her and her parents (and what seems to be thousands of other people) are fighting him. I chose to marry my husband and HE is the person who will make my medical decisions. I feel for Terri's parents, but at some point (when your daughter or son gets married) you no longer get to make those decisions. You may not agree with the husbands choice but that was your daughter's choice. I get so pissed off that people think it is okay. If my family fought my husband over my medical decisions...I would come back to haunt their asses!!!!
I found the interview of her siblings on Fox News last night equally upsetting. They are so desperate o "save" their sister, they are now implying that Michael may have done something to Terri that caused her to collapse. This poor man!!! ( refer to my brother's comments...maybe not the right choice of words for everyone, but if he has his heart in the right place then ....poor man) Why can't anyone see his agony? Why is he a monster because he wants to honor his wife's wishes? There are many, many things that a husband and wife discuss that parents may not be privy to. Alright...I am done bitching about that....on to the next topic
Update: my main point is that it is the husband's decision to make whether we agree or not.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Little Weirdo
Ethan, who is now 14 months old, suddenly thinks everything must go on his had. Every bag,plastic or otherwise, is now a hat or helmet. I am trying to decide how dangerous it really is for him to have a plastic bag on his head if I am sitting right there. One, because it is so damn amusing and two, when I take it away he screams like I have just pulled his bowels out his nose. He also gives a whole new meaning to tantrum. I have never seen anything like it. He screams and cries like he is in severe pain. Don't get me wrong, the twins had their fair share of tantrums (and still do), but nothing like this. I would say it is comical except that it really makes me nervous. Should I go ahead and put him in anger management classes now before he becomes one of those kids that blows up squirrels and ground hogs? Okay...maybe I am overstating just a tad. It is a little weird though. I hope to hell he grows out of this phase quick.
Monday, March 21, 2005
Come on in...it's nice and toasty.
Hello...? I'm dry!!!
FOR MOM AND DAD
Okay, this guy's take on parenting is so profound and hysterical .....Take the time to do some reading and then go buy his book when it comes out for all your friends who think it would be so much "fun" to have a couple of kids.
This is where the twins now perch during the preperation of every meal. I think we must watch to much Food Network.
When does everything have to be politically correct?
This post I wrote received a comment (anonymously of course)from someone who felt I was gearing my posts toward military wives and men being deployed and leaving out military husbands and women who are deployed. I of course do not intend to offend people by what I write but guess what people...I am a woman and my husband is a man. I write about my feelings and things I read and see. If you are a military woman or the husband of a military woman, why can you not just insert the proper pronouns to suit your situation. If I was Jewish and wrote all about my Jewish holidays would you Catholics all get your rosaries in a knot? No, I think not. Why does everything have to be geared to everyone. I feel for the men who stay at home as much as I do for the women...I am however a woman and I am writing things from MY perspective. If you are offended by that, maybe you need to look within yourself and see why you are so sensitive to a blog that is one of how many million. Please give a little thought to the fact that we used to have firemen who were women and policemen who were women. Now we must have names for each gender....just because I say woman doesn't mean I am leaving out men, just like a Fireman used to be able to be a woman but now ridiculously, we must have a whole new word....Fireperson.
WAIT...WAIT...DON'T I LOOK LOVELY TOO?
HI everyone. This is the lovely poncho that Grandma Claire (Tara's Mom) made for me. I am such a lucky little girl.
Help Our Soldiers
Whether or not you agree with the war, the politices, or Bush I think we all agree that our troops need our support. Here and here are two places you can go to do just that. SHOW YOUR SUPPORT. These men and their families make more sacrifices than anyone could ever imagine.
Good Morning Blogger Land
Good morning to all in the land of the blog. I have already been up 2 friggin' hours. I can't wait until my children learn to sleep late!!! Ahhhhhhhh...That will be the day.
So, I have a pretty good list of things to do. I have to vacuum the house (luckily we live on post so our house is really small), sweep and mop the 2x2 entryway (oooohhh really hard), sweep and mop the kitchen, clean the downstairs bathroom, workout (if I cannot wear a two piece by May I am just going to give up and never workout again HA HA HA), and start pricing and sorting for my BIG garage sale. I have to admit I am a garage sale addict. My favorite thing to do....buy good stuff cheap and sell it on e-bay. I know, I know what do I do with all that extra money (hee-hee)? Well, being the frugal (hubby is only a PFC) girl (31 year old broad) that I am, I use the money on E-bay to buy the kids clothes. They grow so fast at this rate I figure I better buy Cheaply now. When they hit 10 yrs old, It will be name brand city. Alright, I have gotten a bit off track. I wanted to discuss all the riches I plan to make at my BIG garage sale. I have been so diligent about performing my own "Clean Sweep". I must say I am such a fan of organization. Rubbermaid containers and my label maker are both my true friends. I have two weeks to get this massive pile of my crap, someone else's treasures sorted and priced. What doesn't sell I am donating to the thrift store here on post. All you military wives should do the same. They do great things with the money they earn. Our thrift store used most of the money it raised last year to help military wives who lost children. What a cause!!!!! You can call your thrift store and see what they do with their money. Okay,okay I am done blithering for now. More to come!!!!:)
Sunday, March 20, 2005
AS THE WEEKEND ENDS
As the weekend draws to a close, I must say that my mood has definenlty improved (all the women know this is because Aunt Flo finally got here). I did not find myself having the ever entertaining internal struggle over to beat or not to beat my children. I think they could sense the mood change. I do not know why, but it seems just when I need them to behave for my sanity and their safety, all three go plum, butt wild. I have no idea why this happens...but I swear sometimes I think they are doing it on purpose. That really makes the to beat or not to beat decision much more difficult.
Emily and the potty training is going very well. We made two big family outings this weekend (anytime we leave the house with three toddlers, it is a big family outing). The first was Saturday and we went to the Easter Event here at Ft. Carson. There Emily took her first crap in a public restroom. I am so proud. I was unable to crap in a public restroom until I was pregnant with the twins and at that point I would have crapped on the neighbors couch to make room. The second was Sunday and we went to Wal-Mart. We had to get price stickers and poster boards for our big garage sale coming up. There Emily again took a crap in a public restroom. I have to give her great kudos. She even yelled out "I made my poop come out. I can see it." so everyone in the Wal-Mart bathroom could also relish in the fact that Emily can shit in public. Good Girl!!!
Steven is starting to show a bit of interest in the potty. he wants to sit on it and then play the bo-bo game. What is the bo-bo game you ask? Well, he hops off the potty and chases Emily with his bo-bo yelling bobo at the top of his lungs. Already a streaker this kid is. I now wish I had never used the word bo-bo, but I guess I would rather he yell out bo-bo then ass!!! Would you like me to use the word bo-bo a few more times? I really would like someone to share my pain.
Ethan...No potty training in sight. Of course he is only 14 months old and still seems perfectly content to sit in a big warm mound of crap. I can dream. You cannot deny me that. I dream of a day when I am no longer buying diapers for three babies. I will then begin drinking wine. I have decided that is a fair trade off. I will have wiped three other people's butts for approximately 3 and 1/2 years. After that anyone deserves a shot at an alcohol induced stupor. Ah, I am just kidding. I am such a light weight...I would puke for sure, but the concept of being in any kind of stupor sounds appealing today.
Saturday, March 19, 2005
Anniversary in Iraq
I read this post aloud to my husband and had to fight back the lump in my throat. If you have ever doubted the sacrifices our country has made please read and reread this blog. If you know someone who doubts why we must make these sacrifices, please send it to them. We are doing something very profound for this country. We are doing something for people who could not do it for themselves. We are doing somehting for good people!!!
NOT A GOOD DAY TO BE MY KID
Man, I do not know what is wrong with me today but if it wasn't to late I would probably give my kids away. I know, I know, that sounds awful. I never have claimed to be perfect. I am in such a grumpy mood. Everything seems to be grating the one nerve I have left. My poor, poor husband. I am pretty sure it is the dreaded PMS. Yes, it really exists. Ever since the last baby, My PMS is out of this world. It seems like for about a week our house becomes both rollercoaster ride and UN-fun house. I have absolutely no control over the evil monster called irritability. Maybe a hefty dose of xanax would do me some good. I think I am way out of midol's (slight irritability) league. Some kind of mood altering drug would probably make everyone in the house much happier!!! Well I guess that is all the wonderful things I have to say for now...I must return to giving the evil eye to anyone who so much as tries to look my way.
No matter how BIG we get....
We will always stay grounded
Thursday, March 17, 2005
10 Things You Should Know But No One Ever Says #1
I feel it is now time, with my advancing age, to begin sharing my wisdom. I would like to start sharing things that I have learned the hard way....Experience.
1. Pubic hairs also turn grey.
2. When you are pregnant you will get unexplainable, shooting ass pains.
3. Even small boobs sag after breast feeding three babies.
4. Your parents had sex more than the number of children they have...yuck!!!!
5. You will at some point want to cause your child harm....the important thing is that you don't.
6. Some toddlers paint with poop.
7. When a recipe calls for fresh parsley DO NOT use the same amount of dried parsley. Gross !!!
8. When you become a parent sleep is a thing of the past.
9. People without children just do not understand.
10. Once you are in the "mommy club", you can talk about you vagina, boobs, bowel movements and sex drive as freely as you want.
MISSING TEXAS
I do not know why I am homesick today, but I sure miss Texas. We are in Colorado right now but Clint and I are both from Texas. It is so scenic here and the people have been really friendly, I just LOVE my family and almost all of them are in Texas. We just went home in Jan. after being gone for almost a year. I hope someone comes to visit soon!!! That always makes time go a little quicker. I miss the weather, my family, my friends, my dog, knowing where evertything is, and Taco Cabana!!! Oh well....
ONE LITTLE COMMENT
Okay, So I added that adsense to my blog....as per my big bro's suggestion. The adds are supposed to coordinate with your blog. I have made one little mention about post partum depression and this morning all my adds were geared toward depression. I swear I am really an upbeat person. I have to be with three small children or I might kill someone.... LOL just kidding of course.
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Mowing with Grandad and I taught Tom the importance of teamwork.
WHO'S A NERD?
Tom was meant for Special Forces. He was always a master of disguise....or was he just a nerd? Hee Hee
As you can tell by baby Dave's expression, Tom has given him the order to change his own diaper.
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