Poop, Paxil, and Pageantry

Saturday, July 30, 2005

Happy Saturday to You.

Well, it is Saturday morning and it is just the kids and I. Clint has headed off for the weekend to relax and do some fishing. He won a weekend with a camper for free from the MWR, here on post. Lucky guy.

Ethan has decided that 19 month old babies with big balls, should not have to wear diapers. He keeps showing up butt-ass naked. Gotta love a nudist.

The insurance called and it was a mere $408 to fix the car I backed into. Whew!!! I suppose I should be releaved I didn't damage my vehicle. I am glad, I just can't believe I backed smack dab into that poor woman's car.

Tuesday, August 2nd is National Night Out. Jennifer and I will be at Iron Horse Park doing our campainging for mayor. A bunch of the giorls in the neighborhood have offered to help us out. We are going to win. We are going to win.

My counter has passed 20,000. What should I do to celebrate? Any ideas?

Off to try to get through my entire blogroll for a second day in a row.

Random link

Friday, July 29, 2005

Self Portrait Friday

My favorite t-shirt is a little over a month old. I got it at Old navy. It is friggin' comfortable as hell. The t-shirt material is so soft. Clint (really needs to be nagged about his lack of posting) took my pictures while I vacuumed upstairs. I was cleaning the play room and the kids' bedroom.

I suppose I should have brushed my hair.

I need coffee......

Look at me! I love housework. NOT!!!!!

Other Sexy, Hot T-shirts!
Erik
WarCryGirl
Curt
A Military Mom
Suzan
Crazy Ride Lady
Christie
Sheri
Stacy Lee
Sheri
MamaDuck
Annie

Jenna (Brand New Blogger)

Tiffiny

Cat

NO-L

Holly
Random link

Thursday, July 28, 2005

He has the biggest balls of them all.

When Ethan was born, they told us he had a condition called hydrocele. They said the fluid would absorb by his first year check -up. It did not. I decided to wait until his 18 month well baby check-up, to give it a little more time. Well, it hasn't absorbed. We have to go to see a urologist (did I spell that right?). I was not really too concerned until I read they would use general anesthesia. I am totally freakin' now. I assumed they would just numb the nuts and withdraw the fluid with a needle. HOLY SHIT! They actually have to go in there. What if they jack something up and he is sterilized? What if he is allergic to the anesthesia? Can he just continue to have big balls? What's wrong with big balls. I have them (well, not really...just wanted to clarify). FREAKING THE HELL OUT.

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

My brains are leaking.

Thank you to the anon commenter who pointed out that my comments should read Now you're talking and not now your talking. I am watching way too much Blues Clues. I swear having three children under the age of three is making me dumber by the day. I used to run a restaurant for god's sake. I fired people. I cut costs. I handled distributers. I used to be some what intelligent. Now....I can not spell, use correct punctuation, or grammar. I apologize to all of you with more then half a brain. Please continue to point out my mistakes, I will fix them. Maybe that way, not everyone will know I am a complete idiot.

Way Back Wednesday

Today Mama Duck is doing the normal Way Back Wednesday. Today's theme is bad hair. I have so many options. I tried to find the picture from the perm my mother gave me in the third grade. Can you say Bozo the Clown? If I find it later, I will share. You will have a great laugh. Today, I am going to show you to very sad pictures. What makes these pictures even worse, my hair and makeup were done by professionals.

This first picture was done at a place called Hollywood portraits. The ghetto version of Glamour shots. There are so MANY things wrong here. Where do I start.

We should start with the hair. I know I lived in Texas, but come on now. Then there are the two fuzzy caterpillars above my eyes. Oh, how about the fact I cannot fill out the top. That is just pathetic. Then there is the make-up. OH MY GOD!!! I think one of my favorite touches is not only the bright ass lipstick, but also the bouncy girls holding my ears in place.

The next picture isn't quite as bad. There has been a tremendous improvement in both the eyebrows and make-up, but let us address the hair.

Not only does my head look extraordinarily large on my boney shoulders, but my hair looks like a brillo pad sitting on my head. I sure thought I was looking good at the time. I was just so unaware of how BIG my head was. BIG HEAD! BIG HEAD!

I've Been Tagged....Twice.

Kel, over at Mom is Nutz, tagged me.

10 turn ons
1. Long Hugs
2. Clean kitchen (cleaned by hubby)
3. A delicious dinner (cooked by hubby)
4. Breakfast in bed
5. Hubby changing diapers
6. Hubby reading books to the kids
7. Smell of his deodorant
8. His warm body when I am cold
9. The looks he gives me from across the room
10. Clean sheets

10 turn offs
1. Bad breath
2. White zits
3. Grumpiness
4. Selfishness
5. Mean to kids
6. Crumbs in the bed
7. Poop
8. No time on the computer
9. Shaved legs
10. Dirty Clothes on the floor
For this one I will tag two people. I am going to tag Jennifer at What is one more. The second tagee will be Marsha at the Hen House.

I have also been tagged by A Military Mom over at Updates on my soldier. She wants to know what is on my nightstand. Well, I just rearranged the house and no longer have a nightstand. The computer desk is on my side of the bed. Bummer. Clint has a clock and a turtle lamp on his side of the bed. Pretty boring, I know, but with three little children......

Coming soon.....My bad hair!

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Katy for Sale! Katy for Sale!

I am worth $1,719,050 on HumanForSale.com

I kind of thought it would say "priceless", but apparenlty NOT!!!
Try it out. I want to know how much ya'll are worth.

I stole this from Kel!!

There are going to be some changes around here.

I have decided to give up my blinkies in the side bar. I Have also decided to do away with Wedenesday's Wonder Blog. I am now going to include a blinkie or picture in each post. It will connect to one of my favorite blogs. I guess you will have to click on it to see which one.Bwahahahahahahaha

Quick bit of info.

I did not notice at first, but I was signed in as Amy. My friend Amy's computer is down and she uses mine sometimes. Well, I have been commenting all over the blogosphere as Amy. OOPS. Let's see if i can get it right the rest of the day.

Oh, and for those who say it takes a long time for the page to load *wink wink*, I took some crap off. Will you let me know if it loads quicker for you. I am also wondering if you are on dial-up, dsl, or cable. Thanks!

Crash...Boom...Ahhhhh SHIT!!!

Let me tell you about my GREAT day yesterday.
First, it has finally cooled off. This improved everyone's mood.
Secondly, Two of my friends and I decided to load up ALL our kids (9 of them) and head out to the Dollar Tree. I had never been there before. Let me just tell you......I loved it. We got pom poms, flutes, microphones, and of course tiaras. Thirdly, Once my trip to cheap heaven was over, we headed over to Home Depot. Mayoral canidates have to have nice yards, don't yah know. I was on the search for some ivies, but did not find them. I did find some nice plants. Oh yes, I also found myself backing into a car in the friggin' parking lot. I just ran right the hell into it. I started to back up, looked behind me, and decided to back up into the empty space behind me. Guess what!!!! It was friggin' empty. It was just too small to see from my montero. DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT!!!!!! Luckily no damage was done to my car, but I did crack her bumper about the size of a quarter (my tow hitch hit it). I went inside and had her paged twice. After about thirty minutes, she came out. A retired officer's wife. UGH!!!! It was like telling your Mom you've been naughty. She was really nice and the insurance company handles it now. WHEW!!!

Clint and Ethan came home last night. I am so happy to have them both home. Clint told me I was no longer allowed to make comments about his driving. His sister sent home presents for the kids. She is too generous. Man, I am so glad to have my baby boy home.

Okay, here is the other crazy shit going on around here. Apparently (neighborhood gossip), this guy across the street got stabbed by his wife somewhere on the other side of town. They came here to search for a stashed weapon or something (lots of neighborhood gossip). Here are the photos of the invesigators. I think if it was "no big deal" like the investigators were trying to imply, Why were they looking in the trash?

In our building toy bin?

On the FRIGGIN' roof?

OKAY.......Whatever....not a big deal...Nothing they can discuss!!!! I like the neighborhood story better.

Self Portrait Friday
My friend across the street came up with the idea of photos of us in our favorite t-shirt. If you do not wear (it did say where...thanks Warcrygirl for pointing out my horrible inadaquacies *cringing with embarrassment*) t-shirts, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? I am just teasing. If you do not wear t-shirts, just a photo of you in your favorite shirt.
I am shooting for thirty players this week. Capeesh...I bet a jacked the spelling up of that word pretty bad. I just spelled it phonetically. Yes, Yes I am an idiot.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Calling Dave and Ashley

Hello? Hello? Dave? Ashley? Everyone loves the coasters. Could you please leave a comment telling us where you got them? What a friggin' clever gift. I suppose I could call you on the phone, but it is downstairs and my computer is up here, you get the picture. yes, yes. I have many issues. I love you BOTH!!!! I WILL call. Maybe. Bwhahahahaha

Twins gone wild.

This picture was taken about a year and a half ago.

The twins and the dog had their way with the mail, the ads, and the tupperware. It really was "twins gone wild". For some reason, my children have an obsession with paper. We still go through this with them anytime we check the mail. They NEED the junk mail. Little weirdos!

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Blue Marlin Pools

Jen, over at For the Birds, had big problems with the pool contractor that she and her husband, Andy used. DO NOT USE BLUE MARLIN POOLS.
So, if you are having a pool put in and are considering this company, go to her website DO NOT USE BLUE MARLIN POOLS. She gives you all the dirt. If you are not getting a pool put in and are just nosey like me, go to DO NOT USE BLUE MARLIN POOLS.

WASSUP?!?!

Okay, here is the dirty low down.
One of my neighbors had her water break, so off to the hospital she and her hubby went and over came the 18 month old. She is the best baby. She is so easy to take care of. The only draw back? I was enjoying my third glass of wine. OOPS!!!!! I hope she didn't mind the wino breath.

I rearranged the living room and our bedroom all day yesterday, so I was not on the computer. Missed me, Missed me, Now you gotta kiss me. Today I have to get caught up on all my favorite blogs. Damn, that is going to take me all day. whew...I am excited just thinking about it.

Have I mentioned my other neighbor and I are running for Mayor and Deputy Mayor? I am so excited. I think I have a great partner in this endeavor. She is a real get things done kind of girl. I adore that biatch.

I was supposed to go to the post office yesterday. I had birthday cards to send to Katie and Kimberly, I had a card to send to Erik's wife, Birthday packages for two of Jack Army and Jill Army's girls, and a few other things to go out. An anniversary card for my baby brother and a couple of I miss the shit out of you cards. Didn't make it. I am no good. NO DAMN GOOD, I TELL YOU!!!!!

So, now that I have bored myself to tears with this horribly mundane post, I think I will go see if the kids need to poop or something. I need a little action.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Self Portrait Friday

This is the first self portrait friday that is really just that. Usually Clint takes my pictures for me. So, here it is. My normal blogging stance.

I love my computer chair. Our neighbors, Mike and Amy gave it to us. I have such sweet neighbors.

Self Portrait Friday Players

Please let me kmow if you decided to play and are not on the list. Sorry I am so friggin' late.

Speaking of sweet....Look at these cool coasters I got in the mail today.

My brother, Dave and his wife (well, I am sure it was really his wife) sent us these coasters for our anniversary. They have pictures from our wedding on them. How cool is that. She apologized because it was late, but she doesn't know I have their anniversary card sitting here still waiting to be mailed. I guess we all missed the boat this year. Anyways, what a cool idea for an anniversary present. My sister-in-law should really be one of those professional shoppers. she always has great ideas. Of course a lawyer ain't too shabby I suppose (she is going into her second year of law school).

I'm Going To Win A Blog Design From Digitally Essential

I am hoping and praying and wishing to win a blog design from Digitally Essential. If you want to see an example of some of their work, go see Leslie and Jenny. While you are at Jenny's, do not forget to check out the blogathon. Oh, read my haiku first and then go.

Have you seen my site?

It is really quite a fright.

Needs a little bite.

I will kiss your ass.

Not one single day will pass.

You sexy lil' lass.

What are you still doing here? The haiku is over. Go see Jenny (register for the blogathon) and Leslie. (I am kissing up.....)

Where is SPF?

Self Portrait Friday will be up as soon as I can get a camera. Clint took our camera with him to Texas, so I have to wait for Amy to get up and out to use her camera. It will be up soon. I swear. In the mean time, go check out the blogathon Jenny will be having. She is also having a contest to win a layout for your blog. It ends tonight at midnight.

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Check It Out Now!!!

Jenny sent me the following e-mail and I find this cause more than worthwhile. Read about it or suffer the consequences.

E-mail:
August 6th at 9:00 PM (EST) BLOGATHON
2005 is on !!!

We are four women blogging for [MISS foundation
on this group blog ( Three moms and a single
lady )we made especially for the event.

What is Blogathon ?
First some terminology: “blog” is a shortened version of “weblog” which
is a frequently updated personal website. Most blogs have date stamps
on
the entries, and consist of links and commentary. Now, remember when
you
were in school and you would bowl for charity? And for every pin you
knocked down you got, say, ten cents? Or run for a dollar a mile?
During
the Blogathon, people update their websites every 30 minutes for 24
hours straight. For this, they collect sponsorships. Pledges can be a
flat donation, or a certain amount for every hour the blogger manages
to
stay awake.
What is MISS foundation?
Well here's an excerpt from their site

About MISS

More than 120,000 children die every year in the United States. Of
those, more than 80% die before their first birthday...
The MISS Foundation is a nonprofit corporation committed to helping
families discover hope and eventually heal from the trauma of a child's
death.
For more information check the information
packet

So bottom line, MISS is an organization dedicated to help families cope
with miscarriage, stillbirth, baby loss.

And of course you gonna ask WHY MISS?
The explanation is pretty simple. The idea was mine, since this past
year I suffered 3 miscarriages and I felt the pain (X3) that millions
of
women feel every year. When I told my idea to CJ, she agreed right away
since she has been through the same thing. Barbara and Erin had no
problem with that so..here we are.
We hope we can raise lots of money with what we're doing so other
families who suffer or suffered can get help. So more research can
happen in order to find the causes and prevent babies from dieing
before
they even come in the world.
The pain never goes away, no matter how many years go by, no matter if
you have or not other children..it's still there.
And we will NEVER forget our lost babies..even though we never saw
them...

How can you help?
Simply register an account on Blogathon , look under the
participants for the name Jenny and under campaigns for our
group
blog (Three moms and a single lady), and sumbit the money you
wish to donate. During Blogathon, we encourage you to watch your
bloggers (in this case US) participate and cheer them on - though as a
sponsor, you, of course, can sleep. The next morning check your email
for information telling you how much - and how - to make your donation.

Where can I find more information?
Easy. Check the Blogathon
sponsor FAQ's.

So.. are you guys gonna help please?

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

It's Hump Day.....hee hee

I am feeling fine. I have been a bit busy. Clint left this morning. He and Ethan headed off to Dallas. Clint was unable to get there before his friend passed away, but he will luckily make the funeral.

So much to do today, so much to do.

#1 MamaDuck is hosting the usual Way Back Wednesday. This weeks theme is "college and inebriation". Instead of posting a jackass picture of myself (because I do that often enough), I decided to post a jackass picture of Clint. I figured, he has been dilly dallying with posting, so why not. I debated about telling the story before or after the picture and decided to tell you before. I am afraid you might not be able to read it through your tears of laughter, unless I tell you ahead of time. It is a simple senario. Boy gets drunk. Boy passes out. Boy's friends are assholes (yes, I was one of them). Boy gets dolled up.

#2 WarCryGirl hosts Half-Nekkid Thursday. Since I am so late posting, I figure I would throw my picture in the pot. This is my friend Shawn and I camping. Who knew Porto Potties were so entertaining. I am on the left.

#3 Wednesday's Wonder Blog just happens to be The Cure For Boredom. Hmmmmmmm.....Hopefully you clicked on her link above and laughed so hard you wet your panties. She lives in North Carolina with her husband and her two boys. She loves a little bit of 80's music and to dope up on coffee. What a woman. Check her out. She is so damn funny.

#4 Self Portrait Friday is all about the computer. Let's see you do your blogging.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Where Have I Been?

If my tubes were not tied, I would swear I was pregnant.

I have felt so drained and sick to my stomach. This is the reason I have not been to all my favorite blogs the last two days. I plan on catching up today.

I have decided to take the advice I got from Curtis and rotate my gravatars. If any of you, my darling blog friends, find something you think I might like, please e-mail it to me or post it on your site so I can save it to my own computer. Whew, that run-on sentence made me run out of breath. Chris Farley will be back. Don't you worry.

Toni wanted to know how I changed my comment stuff. I logged into haloscan and went to settings to change the wording and add the kiss my ass gravatar. I then went to template to change the color and add my picture. Everyone should change to haloscan.

There is a contest going on over at Sexy Mama Jenny's site. Go there. She might be able to help get your crappy site looking bootylicious. I am almost done with my entry. I need my site to suit my personality a little more.

Monday, July 18, 2005

If I have offended, I apologize

I received this e-mail from a Suzie Wegner. It reads as follows.

Your disgusting picture of the fat guy getting himself off is very tasteless, especially when you post it on other people's blog. What is the purpose, does it turn you on? Grow up and respect other people's sties.

The name sounded familiar and I am assuming she me a dear relative of MSG Ronnie Wegner, whose site I visit and comment on often. Remember, it is an assumption. Please check out Ronnie's site. It is one of my absolute favorites. Apparently Mrs. Wegner is neither a fan of Chris Farley nor my sense of humor. I did decide to change my gravatar to something a little less harmless for the benefit of those sites that I comment on. If anyone else was offended by the late, great Chris Farley, I apologize. I hope you will help me select my new gravatar. I will post the options soon. Check back.
Here are the options.

Help Select My Profile Picture

Okay, here are some choices. Let me hear your opinion. If you have a suggestion, e-mail it to me and I will add to the list.

Happy Birthday Katie

Today is Katie's sixteenth birthday. Please head over there and show her a little birthday love.

Happy Birthday sweet girl. I hope you have fun at your party this evening and your card is on it's way. I am way behind.

It's is time for the Karnival Kidz.

This weeks Karnival is more than that, it's a party.

Let's start the party off at Jen's Horde, by Jen. She shows us how to have a real "Potty Party".

When you are ready, you can head over to The Jump Blog, by GoldFalcon and see how GoldFalconette is driving Daddy to party with her potty.

Jen H. over at Iowa Geek ,shows how to have a party when your power goes out for four hours.

Patticakes shows us David wearing the child's version of the proverbial lampshade.

She said, "Yes, the garbage can was clean. I had just bought it. I don't remember what possessed him to put it over his head. Do kids need a reason?"

Now, walk with me over to One Happy Dog Speaks, by VW Bug. There we can join Tater and Tot having a party on Tater's new bed.

Over at Updates On My Soldier, by A Military Mom, they are celebrating Noah turning six. Be sure to wish him a Happy Birthday.

The Common Room, by Deputy HeadMistress, is having a party of kisses that could turn everyone green with envy.

Wait, don't leave yet. The Common Room's Deputy HeadMistress also reminds us there is always room for cherries.

The party has moved back to Iowa Geek, by Jody Halsted. There we learn that, with tooth number six poking through, Brenna's mouth is living it up, trying all kinds of new things.

Over at Primo Donna, Donna shows two of her granddaughters how to get ready with style.

We are now arriving at One Happy Dog Peaks, by Val Wirtz. There, her little Tater shows us how to be the life of the party with his musical talents. And Tot, oh those eyes would melt your heart.

When we stop at Casa McAustin, by Mamamcc, we see why a party of diversity may be in order.

Look, another party. Over at Butterfly Kingdom, by Amy Ivie, the children frolic amongst the bubbles.

YeeHaw!!!! I see over at Sleeping Mommy, by Sleeping Mommy, They are celebrating the feminine ways of Baby Girl and the cowboy ways of Baby Boy.

I think a parade is in order over at ArmyWifeToddlerMom, by ArmyWifeToddlerMom. She is Pink Ninja's Hero. Hip Hip Hooray!

Here at my place, by me, We have decided a pity party is a necessity for baby Ethan.

Now, we pull into My Life As A Middle Child, by Kgrams. Put on your party hat and celebrate the "Many Faces Of Doodlebug", They don't come much cuter.

As our trip around the neighborhood begins to draw to an end, we must not forget to run by Why Are These Kids Following Me?Who Are They Calling Mom?, by Kellie. There we learn the true meaning of the word WOOZLE.

Our final toast goes to And What Next, by Sissy. She reminds us of the good ol' days, when we all thought we were invincible.

Thank you for coming to the block party. I am so glad you could join us. Come back now yah hear!

Feel free to check out some past Karnival of Kids:
July 11th July 4th June 27th
Contact VW Bug at karnival(dot)kidz(at)gmail(dot)com,if you are interested in being a host yourself. It really is a lot of fun.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

Just Me and Daddy

Emily has been having a hell of a time lately. Besides the eye issue, she has been having serious separation anxiety. I think she would climb back in the womb, if I'd let her. Clint has been trying to help the situation with a bit of Daddy and me time for Emily.

Steven was not bothered in the least. Ethan, however, was not thrilled to share his Daddy with sis.

I guess this is what happens when your wife gives birth to your clone. He really is mad that Daddy isn't paying attention to him.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Karnival of Kidz

DO NOT FORGET

THE KARNIVAL OF KIDS!!!

Sunday night at midnight is the deadline. Go HERE and fill out the submission form. Tess us a funny story about your kids. Already have, well dig through your archives and submit it. If you want a little more info, you can go HERE. If you do not submit an entry, you can go HERE to see the consequences.

What do you think?

I changed the looks of my comment screen. Offensive? What do you think?

Clint is off covering a story for the paper. He is taking photos while jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. Skydiving!!! Will he come home? What do you think?

Ethan broke himself of the pacifier about four days ago and Steven didn't have a single accident yesterday. I am so proud. What do you think?

My neighbors on either side just got back from block leave last night. Amy's mom bought each of my kids an outfit and a toy. How sweet is that? Jennifer brought home a bug catching net for each kid and a bug house to hold the bugs. How sweet is that? My neighbors are better than your neighbors. Don't you think?

I made it through every single blog on my blog roll today. Whew....that took awhile. I think I just love way too many blogs. what do you think?

For those of you who have asked to be updated on Emily, she is doing much better. The swelling is gone (left some bruising) and you can see where a bite was. I knew it was a bite. I am considering medical school. (joking of course) What do you think?

I am now off to spray all the sidewalk drawings away and water the plants.

Friday, July 15, 2005

T.G.I.F

Let's start with a little self portrait Friday. This is my morning cup of java and I.

Clint got this coffee cup for free at work and it ended up being my favorite.

After my coffee, Emily made me a delicious bowl of bacon.

That later turned into a very lovely helmet.

Guess who else played.......

Christie #2 (not as in poop)

Kate

KGrams
I am sorry I did not get to do Half Nekkid Thursday with you WarCryGirl. We got a bit of sad news yesterday and had to make a lot of calls and look into flights. We found out one of Clint's best friend has terminal cancer. She is one of the sweetest,kindest people you would ever meet. That makes it even more frustrating. Why, with all the dickheads out there, do we have to lose someone so nice?

On a lighter note.....
Please look no farther if you are not prepared for the miraculous and disgusting.

My son took the perfect crap. Yes, I said the perfect crap. We dubbed it the "leaning tower of poopa". And yes, I have no shame. I photographed it.

I know, I have issues, but admit it, it is funny, strange, gross, and cool all at the same time.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

Get Ready, Get Set, Show Me

Allright here is the theme for Self Portrait Friday, brought to you by Erik. I bet you will love this one Meritt. Show "your mug with your mug". Let's see you with your favorite coffee mug. If you do not drink coffee, show us your favorite cup and tell us what is in it.

Don't forget to comment so I can linkie lou all the players.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Wow!!! It's Wednesday.

Today is Wednesday. So much to do, so much to do. Let's get started.

Wednesday's Wonder Blog:

Jennifer's self titled blog, Jennifer's World is one of my most favorite blogs. Part of that is because she is one of my most favorite bloggers. Jennifer is a stay at home mom to two beautiful children. I swear, I am not just saying that. They are really adorable. She plays bingo ALL the time (wins quite often). She is also a huge fan of the Goonies and Harry Potter. I think one of the things I look forward to if I ever get the chance to meet her in person is to just sit and people watch. I bet she has all kinds of funny things to say. Oh yes, I also love the way she changes her blog look a lot. It is like rearranging furniture. Gives you that fresh feeling. So, if you are not feeling fresh, or just want to befriend one of the sweetest people on earth, you better go visit Jennifer.

Way Back Wednesday:
Mama Duck, over at the Kept Woman, is playing way back Wednesday today. I decided I would play. This is me my junior year heading off to prom (I think) with my friend Bunny. My oldest, dearest friend (who isn't speaking to me right now) loaned me the dress. Hey, I was hot shit back then....nobody did their eyebrows. So, shut-up.

Now, for all of your viewing pleasure, I introduce Jack Army at the prom with his first babies Momma.

Hey JackArmy, Don't be mad, I could have posted the one when you wore Dad's 70's polyester brown suit...bwahahahahahaha....I may do it anyway if you aren't nice.

Update On Emily:

The doctors say Emily's eye problem is a hive (no it isn't...it is a bite). I know I am not a doctor, but I do not think it is a hive. They want to see her again tomorrow morning to see if the drugs I have to shove down her throat are effective(is it affective or effective...shit, I can not remember the rule). If they do nothing then she doesn't have a (yes I said A...AS IN ONE) hive. So, I guess we will see. Anyone know a good Catholic church in the Ft. Carson area. We are still considering converting.

What the hell is this?

Yesterday while Clint was home for lunch, we noticed Emily had a little bump by her eye. No big deal you say? Well, this morning she woke up looking like the elephant man. Me may have to convert to Catholicism. That way she can be a nun. Well, no one is going to marry her looking like this.

Clint is taking her to the doctor this morning. I will give an update for those of you who care.

Now, you would think living here on post, we live with many true Americans. You would be right. It takes an American to be this redneck, whitetrash.

Hard to see? Well let me zoom in and lighten it for you.

That's right folks. Need to move your grill? Just pop one of the kids in the trunk and have them pull it while you drive through the neighborhood. Oh wait, they could be entrepreneurs. They may be starting there own fast food delivery service. Hungry for a hot off the grill steak? Call 1-800-dip-shit.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

You Better Play.....Or Else! UPDATED!!!

I am hosting the Karnival Of Kidz on the 18th of this month. You have until Sunday to get your submissions in. Go to the link and fill out your submission form. I am very new to submitting myself. I am even newer to hosting (my first time, that's right...a Karnival virgin). I will answer any questions I can. If I cannot answer them, we will turn to our Karnival guru Val.

Now for the threat. If you do not play, I will hunt you down and take pictures of you on the toilet. If that doesn't scare you.....I will then personally poop on each and every lawn of each and every person who doesn't play (you will then be billed for my travel expenses....can you afford that? I think not!).

UPDATE: There have been some questions. I will explain (If you have anything to add Val, please do) how it works. You make a post about you as a kid or your kids (on your blog anytime before Sunday...the sooner the better). Pictures are GREAT!!!! You then submit the information for that post (using the submission form provided above). I then gather all that info, give a quick overview with everyone's links (I post that on my site on Monday). I think it is to 1) increase traffic(the people that come to my blog will see your links and we can all do trackbacks) to your site, 2) expose us all to blogs we may not normally read, and 3) brag about our darling offspring.

For you ebay surfers...If you come across some cheap Blue's Clues toddler bedding, Letme know. Emily already has Dora and Steven.....Nada!!!!!

For you Smarty pants, if you know of a good tutorial to make blinkies with Adobe PhotoShop 7.0, please let me know. I want to make my own.
UPDATE #2
I have put the links to all the blinkie sites I got my blinkies from. There are a few missing because I could not get the address to work. Go check them out. Go on now. Go adopt some blinkies. Learn to make them and then make me some free custom ones or teach me how to make my own. "Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and feed him for a lifetime." Do you see how that applies?

Monday, July 11, 2005

Up to my ass and elbows

Dear Lord,
Please grant me the serenity to deal with potty training. I am up to my ass and elbows in piss and shit. Steven keeps taking off his underwear and peeing before he gets to the potty and Emily has diarhea and keeps getting up before she is done, leaving shit droplets on the floor. Why can you not make them potty trained at birth? I know of your capabilities and ask that you take this small request under advisement. Though it is to late for me, you would surely save other parents a great deal of frustration. You would also have a lot less Catholics having to confess of evil thoughts. You know the ones I mean. The killing of offsping, due to urine soaked carpet. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,
A frustrated mother who is already on paxill and cannot afford to turn to alcoholism.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

More For Our Money

I spent most of the day outside with the kids. We were trying to stay out of Clint's hair. He has been working on an essay quiz most of the day. I did finally start reading East of Eden. I have been dying to read that book forever.

Clint picked up some grass seed for me while he was out getting the bi-weekly haircut. So, this evening I decided to fill in some of the bare spots in our front yard. Imagine my surprise when I realized we had gotten more than what be paid for.

Apparently this little guy got a heck of a lot more than he bargained for. I know I did. I was scattering the grass seed by hand and was a bit SURPRISED when I came up with a handful of mouse.