Poop, Paxil, and Pageantry

Friday, September 30, 2005

SELF PORTRAIT FRIDAY

It's here!!! It's here!!!! It's Self Portrait Friday. So, who is coming and who is going? Well have a lookee see.
Meritt
Erik
Stacy Lee
April
Christie
A Military Mom
Jana
MamaDuck
Toni
Suzan
Sheri
Kris
Some Soldier's Mom

Please notice the I rule the world sign......oops I mean the deputy mayor sign.

This is for you!!!!

Thursday, September 29, 2005

I'm Late, I'm Late, For a Very Important Date!!!

Oh dear God, tomorrow is Self Portrait friday. I have had this nasty creativity block stuck in my ass all day. Please give me some sign. Anything. I am open to anything. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, yes. Now I understand. You want to see us coming or going. Well, our front porches (with us on them). I think I can do that. Thank you God for listening and of course helping me. Uhm, do you think next week you could maybe hook me up a little sooner with an idea. I mean you are pretty busy and all, but I do have a blog to keep. Well, thanks again God. Peace out!!!

Move Along, Move along.....

Allright, here is the deal. If you come here, the least you can do is read all my pathetic drivel. I have made more then one post today. Be sure to move that index finger!!!Move it baby, move it. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!Not to the X.....scroll down. Read all I have to say. It is what every person suffering from insomnia needs to knock them right on their ass. And the best part? It is free. Totally Free!!!!

Tag I am it!!!!!

MamaDuck (that sexy bitch) tagged me....so here it goes:
The Rules:
1. Go into your archive.
2. Find your 23rd post.
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
5. Tag five other people to do the same.

So, my 23rd post was short, but sweet.

"Happy Fifth Anniversary Tom and Karen. (I do realize this is a day late, the card will be late too!!!) I cannot wait to celebrate 25 years!!!"

My brother, Jack Army and his lovely wife, Karen are on the run from Rita. They left before she hit and are now in San Antonio staying with my Grandmother. They do not know yet if they have sustained damages. They are waiting for the green light to go back and see what is up in Lake Charles. Oh yeah, they are still married to!!!!!

So, who to tag, who to tag.......
I am going to go with A Military Mom, Rhianna, Suzan, Juli, and EasilAmused. Ya'll can thank me later for the mindless posts you will be able to put up.

Hello, My Name is Katy.....

and yes, I am still addicted to blogging. I do however have this crap called responsibilities that keep getting in the way. Well, that and the need for some sleep. Thanks to all of you who sent congrats mt way. Watch out world here I come. Rhianna and I are thinking of taking over the world. Bwhahahahahaha( insert evil laugh here).

Now, as for Self Portrait Friday.....Check back in a few hours. Sorry!!!!!

I won on blingo. Whoo hoo....I won a movie pass. Don't hate me because I am so damn lucky. Get your ass to my sidebar and sign up. Then if you win something, so do I!!!! You didn't think I was suggesting for your good did you? Oh no!!!!!I want to win some good shit.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Deputy Dog and the Endless Blogroll

Well, it is official. Today was the Mayoral Inagguration. Here Jennifer and I are before the swearing in.

Here we are swearing in. Oh yeah, I am so un-official. When they said "I, say your name...." I said " I ,your name....". I am so funny. I am so!!!! Don't argue with me. That's me in the green, with the devil eyes.

Here is the sign on my entry way. Whoo hoo, I am so big time.

Allrighty now.....My blogroll has gotten way out of hand. I have decided to go back to rotating blogs in and out. If you notice you are no longer on the blogroll, don't fret. You are now on the desktop favorites. I just can't handle how it looks when it is too damn long. I have been worried about doing this for days, because I didn't want to hurt any feelings and then I decided....screw you bitches...it's my friggin' blog. You don't like it? Kiss my whiskey ass. Okay...I am kidding about the last part. (Maybe)

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Gotta Love the Whiskey

My poor eye!!!! After the injury from the dreaded bungee cord, I woke up this morning with a sty on the same eye. Dang, that eye just can't catch a break.

Yesterday my friend Mike MADE me drink whiskey and coke starting at three in the afternoon. I will just tell you, when a few of the mayors from another village came to bring Jennifer's mayor sign......I stuck it in my pants and danced around. Jennifer will be so disappointed she missed the show. Oh, and by the way, the sign is pretty big. I also called just about everyone I know (not very many people).

I am not sure if I have mentioned this or not, but one of my sister-in-laws isn't speaking to me. It is a very sad situation, because I like her and it puts a bit of a strain on family raltions. Anyways, We have a new neighbor across the street named Liz. She looks just like my sister-in-law. Talk about making a person homesick...........

Allright, that's it for now. I am really tired and am trying to recover from the whiskey shits. I know, I know....to much information. What can I say?!?!?!

Friday, September 23, 2005

Someone's in the Kitchen With Dinah

Happy Self Portrait Friday. I can cook, but usually do not have to. My handsome, sexy husband does the majority of cooking. I have become close friends with both the mocrowave and toaster when it is my time to prepare a meal. Here I am making the kids breakfast.

Notice the skill. I am able to pose, smile, and prepare to insert the Eggo waffle into the toaster. I am pretty damn talented. Maybe I should try to get a cooking show.

Who else is cooking?
Meritt
Erik
Christie
Jana
Robin
Amy
A Military Mom
Jennifer
Jenny
Lorelie Long
Tiffiny
Rhianna
Toni
WarCryGirl
Kris
April

Thursday, September 22, 2005

You gotta laugh a little, Cry a little

Some more to tickle your funny bones. Since I am sure everyone has heard, gas could go up to as much as five bucks a gallon. Whewee!!!!

SELF PORTRAIT FRIDAY
Can you cook? It's all about the food. Let's see you in your kitchen (or wherever you prepare/get food)cooking. Come on!!! I know you can do it.

So Far So Good

Well, it is Thursday and my children are still alive. It is another miracle. I have some raging PMS and along with that comes some raging mood swings. Whoo hoo!!!!Poor kids and of course poor Daddy.

WarCryGirl shows us her new Boy Scout bracelet for Half-Nekkid Thursday, so I thought I would show my new Breast Cancer bracelet.

Also, a side note, my black eye is improving. You may also notice the tv in the background. I am obsessively watching the hurricane. I am worried about my fellow Texans.

For those of you who missed my friend Bob, click here.

As for Way Back Wednesday, I couldn't play MaMa Duck. There are no pictures of me looking hot. Sorry!!!!

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

You Know...But still Funny

Okay, I am pretty sure people know I am a Bush supporter, I am a Republican (sort of), and an all around great girl (maybe). I found these pictures and thought they were humorous. See, republicans do have a sense of humor about themselves and our nation's leader, just not about Texas (okay...that is a joke).

Giggle Giggle Giggle!!! I love you Mr. President.

I've Got a New Baby!!!!

Clint's friend/boss from work bought a sugar glider for her daughter. She decided to give it and all it's supplies away. I couldn't pass it up. They are so cute and such interesting little guys. Did you know sugar gliders in captivity can live up to about 15 years. WOW!!!
Well, here Amy and I are playing with the newest member of the Stein family. His name is Stitch!!!

Monday, September 19, 2005

Hi my name is Grace

Okay children. Let' s all sit down and Miss Katy will tell you a tale of a dumbass princess who has absolutely no sense. One day, our princess and her dear prince husband had a great idea. They decided to bungee their back door open so the little prince junior could not close it and lock them or the other children out of the house. Now, when they close the back door, they usually take the bungee cord off the door, but leave it hanging from the screw that holds the other end into the wall. Princess Dumbass realized the small children might pull it and hurt themselves and fastened it to the laundry basket on top of the dryer. Get closer kids, here is where the story gets good. Princess Dumbass went into the laundry room to retrieve the laundry basket that was now full of clothes. For some reason the basket wouldn't budge. She pulled and pulled until it finally gave. Of course Princess Dumbass had forgotten the bungee cord was attached to the laundry basket. After several hard pulls, the bungee came off the screw holding it into the wall and snapped Princess Dumbass right across the face. The metal hook hitting her right on the eye. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

As it turns out, she did both. This children is why you should not ever do laundry. It is very dangerous. You could lose an eye.

Friday's Leftovers

So, I met this really nice giraffe named Bob at the zoo. When I saw his "package", I was amazed.

There were many wonderful animals at the zoo, but none seemed to have quite as impresive an anus.

I knew all my friends would appreciate such an impressive rectum.

I've got a bad case of the DTs

It is 2:30 in the afternoon and I am just now able to sign on. My damn internet has been down. I will be back with some posts in just a few!!!!

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Okay, listen......

In case you were not aware, I was really teasing about the self portrait friday thing (sort of) Please do not be upset if you fall into the category of the people I am blacklisting (kidding.....maybe).

I am off to the zoo. Today is military appreciation day and it is only two damn dollars to get in. You can't beat that man. Clint is covering it for the paper (whopee), so we decided to make a outing of it.

I still have a special picture to post. I also have to post a picture of my new blackeye. Yes, you read that right. I have a black eye. I am thinking about changing my name to Grace!!!!

Off to the Zoo....will be back.

Friday, September 16, 2005

So, first let's discuss Self Portrait Friday. Participation is down. I may have to discontinue this tradition if more of you folks who creep around here and do not leave comments don't start playing. For those of you who do not have blogs, but read (you know who you are) e-mail me your pictures and I will post them with mine. This week's participation is pathetic. I will not tolerate such indifference in the beloved institution of Self Portrait Friday. If you have seen the error in your ways and now have your pictures up, please let me know so I can add you to the "LIST". Now, here are the people whp PLAYED!!!! These are dedicated poeple. They know how to stick with it!!!!! Thank you to the following people for dedicating themselves to the worthy cause of Self Portarit Friday.

Christie
Amy
A Military Mom
Suzan
MaMaDuck
Toni
Rhianna
Stacy Lee
WarCryGirl (sexy bitch)
Meritt
Erik

Now, I have several pictures for this Friday. If you are on dial-up, I apologize for the loading time. I also say to those on dial up, bite the friggin bullet and get with the times!!!!

Clint is up first.

Here he is after a long, hard day at the quarry. It was really hard on his eyes. The sun just beamed off the water. He always had to wear protective eye gear to protect those baby blues.

Now, I do not usually like to brag, but my husband is hung like a rocket. Don't believe me?

I told you. Finding condoms to fit that thing was nearly impossible. Why do you think we have three toddlers?

Of course, I did not feel it was fair to be so overshadowed. I thought about having a permanent implant, but after wearing this sucker for a few weeks,

I decided against it.

I know most poeple assume that because I am from Texas I live d on a ranch and rode horses to school. That is not even close to the truth. So, when I went to visit Clint's parents on their ranch, I was so enthralled by all the animals. Everytime they pissed, shit, or humped

I was there to laugh and squeal in my own immature, juvenille delight.
I have a picture taken today that I will be adding, so check on back a little later yah hear!!!!

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Why men are so damn funny!!!!!

Now, these pictures were sent to me via e-mail. I do not know who they are, but I do know they are pretty dang funny.

I think the gorilla lover is my favorite.
I figured with all going on lately, everyone needs a bit of medicinal laughter.

Tomorrow is self portrait Friday. The big theme ties in with today's photos. Be creative. Use something in or around your house. Turn your clothes line into a weiner.....hold your wlls up with your super strength. Anyways, I hope you get the picture and can use the photos above as inspiration.

Someday I will have to tell the roadkill story and show you those pictures.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

What Not To Wear

So, MamaDuck says today's Way Back Wednesday theme is fashion don'ts. I wasn't even sure where to start with that. I have been guilty of some pretty bad fasgion don'ts. Let's just say, I did not have the best fashion leadership at home.
This is my baby brother Dave. Now, he was too young to dress himself, so this fiasco should be blamed on my parents.

Now, here is Dave, a little older, with my mother. I think this is a true testiment to the "mom" jeans. Ladies, we should all take a long hard look at ourselves before we buy jeans. This is why they make all different cuts and styles. It prvents the appearance of the "front butt" and of course, the dreaded "mom butt". I should also point out that Dave has bangs and they aren't even straight.

Now, this is my big brother, Jack Army. The poor guy was going to Homecoming and my parents opted to put him in one of my Dad's old suits. It is an old brown polyester suit. The poor kid. Again, this falls on the parents. Do you see what I mean when I said we did not have a lot of fashion guidance?

And then of course there is me. My friend Hope and I are on top of the River Center Mall parking Garage in downtown San Antonio. I am wearing a very sexy mid-drift with a bit of a poof style to it. Then, there is the cut off,rolled up shorts with the black boots. We do not even have to cover the teased out, aquanet hair.

Oh dear god, save me from my poor fashion education. Help me to be a better dresser.

Monday, September 12, 2005

What a Weekend

(Allright, this is my second attempt to do this post. I guess blogger was down, because it ate my post. Talk about one peeved ass girl.)

This weekend, the guys were hard at work buliding lovely benches for Amy and I. They designed, constructed and painted the benches themselves.
Here is Clint hard at work. Isn't he one sexy bitch?

This is my lovely bench and sign that he made to go along with it. I

I guess you can tell we are devoted Texans.
Here is the bench and sign that Mike made for Amy.

Now, let me show you what happens when the Mommies are acting like dorks (we are determined to bring back the side pony tail...GOOOOOOOOO EIGHTIES)

and Daddies are tring to make benches. Babies do bad things and get in lots of trouble (this is a re-enactment of course).

I would also like to thank Becky (sweet cheeks), Erik, and Jenny for their unexpected generosity to the Walk for the Cure (Breast Cancer). You guys are the shit!!!!!!

I also want ya'll to go visit ArmyWifeToddlerMom's site. She has a cool auction happening. It is definently worth the time to check it out.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Walk for the Cure

Clint, the kids, and I are walking for the cure on Sunday. In case you are not aware, my Mom died from breast cancer on September 15, 2002, while I was 6 months pregnant with the twins. That sucks I tell you. Well anyways, I am hoping to raise a little bit of money for the cause. It is a pretty damn good one, considering all the woman (and some men)who get this dreaded disease. Go here and enter my name. Katherine Stein. Yes, I know Katherine!!! I was only called that when I was in trouble and on the first day of school every year. Please take the time to check out the site. Even if you do not have the bucks to donate, encourage all the women you know to do self exams and to go to their yearly check-ups. Until a cure is found, early detection is a major factor in survival.

I am Friggin' Famous

I can't believe it. I am so friggin' famous. You may send me a self addressed stamped envelope and I will send you my autograph. Trust me folks, it is going to be worth big bucks pretty damn soon. I know you want to know where my newly found fame has come from don't you?!?! Well, I have been mentioned on BlackFives Blog and he is the biggidy bomb baby. I am freakin' man. I bet I get an invitation to walk the red carpet at the commissary now. I thought I was big time when My brother's site got a mention on MSNBC, but man. Thanks BlackFive for the shout out and thank you to my children for all the great shit stories and for down right tormenting me (I swear they are trying to kill me). Thank you to My friends back home in Texas for all your support. Thank you to my Dad for keeping my dog for the last year and a half. Thank you, of course, to my husband who always seems to play the straight man. I know you all think I am crazy, but this is like Snoop given you a shout out when excepting an award. My little ass blog was mentioned on his big ass popular blog. Holy ape shit!!! I guess if you haven't figured it out already, I am friggin' as excited as a fat girl at a buffet. Damn!!!!!

Show Me Your War Face

Yes, it is Self Portrait Friday and I am going to show you my war face.

Whew.....I bet you felt a shiver down your spine, didn't you?!?! I can be pretty damn intimidating.
Now, I also took this one.

Here, I look a little less scary and a little more constipated. I suppose I also could be the HULK"S sister. You won't like me when I am angry.

Show me YOUR war face.
Erik
WarCryGirl
Stephen
Christie
MamaDuck
Jana
Jennifer
Stacy Lee
Curt
Some Soldier's Mom
Medic's Wife

Do not forget to tell me if you played. I will add new players all through out the day.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Let's Get RRRRRRRRReady to Rumble!!!!!

Okee Dokke Pokkes, today is half-nekkid thursday over at WarCryGirl's site. She is a bit under the weather and gave us a shot of her funky tan lines. Well, being the white trash girl I am, I never where shoes. This means no funny tan lines on my feet. I do however, have a husband with some pretty funny tan lines on HIS feet.

Now, you should also pay close attention to the size of his big toe. it is HUGE!!! You know what they say about big toes?!?!?!?!

Allright folks here it is. The theme for self-portrait Friday. Show us your war face!!!! Don't be shy. Give it all you got. I know you can do it.

Want a chance to help someone that you can put a face to? Help CATHY AND HER FAMILY!!!!!! You can find out by clicking here, here, or here. You can even click here. Just click here. You know you want to click here.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

More Way Back Wednesday

While surfing the internet, I found this picture of Erik from highschool.

Don't you feel like you really KNOW him now. Thank god for extreme makeovers.

It's Way Back Wednesday

MamaDuck wanted to see us participating in school activities. I decided to show my last school activity.....Graduation.

This photo is of my friend Hope and I. She has always been one of the smartest people I know. She amazes me still (even if she isn't speaking to me). Don't we look like some young kids trying to look grown-up!

Now, let me tell you what we did that night. We could have gone to "Project Graduation"( no alcohol), but we opted to have our own little shin dig. I was dating a boy in the Army, who had his own apartment, so we had a party there with a few of our friends. Oh yes, just so you know, I did vomit!!! It wouldn't have been a successful rite of passage if I hadn't.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

Men vs. Women

Clint sent this to me in an e-mail.
WOMEN'S ENGLISH:
Yes = No.
No = Yes.
Maybe = No.
We need = I want.
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead.
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
You're so...manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like.
MEN'S ENGLISH:
I'm hungry = I'm hungry.
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.
I'm tired = I'm tired.
Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
I love you = Let's have sex now.
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question.
May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next ten minutes.
Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you.

Too Funny!!!!

Monday, September 05, 2005

The People Under the Stairs

So the other night, Emily got out of bed, I yelled at her to get back in bed, and she replies "But Mommie, Ethan's fingers." This is what I see.

The baby had gotten out of bed and I guess was trying to dig his way out and then fell asleep. That's right. He was asleep. I had to wait for him to change postiions before I could get in his room and put him back in bed. He is such a little weirdo. It is even kind of creepy.

Saturday, September 03, 2005

A Day Late and Sixty Dollars Short

Okay, I know I am a day late on Self Portrait Friday. Sorry Sorry!!!! I have a great picture to show though. Well, at least I think it is great. My husband and I have a slip cover on our couch, not because we have children, but because it looks like some pimps couch from the eighties. We do not think it would be wise to buy new furniture with three kids under the age of three. Well, as Tara and I were doing the tourist thing, we came across the loveseat to our couch. Holy ape shit, Batman!!!!! It was in a little nail salon. Can you believe it. Someone else has just as ugly furniture as we do. Sad thing is, they do not have a slip cover over it. So here is what is under my slip cover when I am watching TV.

Who else played (before me of course)?
Suzan
Jennifer
Kris
Christie
Stephen
WarCryGirl
Jana
April Shah
Cady
Amy
Stacy Lee (what a damn troop)
MaMaDuck
A Military Mom (couldn't muster to play so go give her lots of love)
Holly
Meritt
Erik
CJ
Now, the sixty dollars you ask..... I bought this lovely little "toy" for the kiddos at a garage sale. Less then a year old. Do you know how much those damn things cost new? What a friggin' steal.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

She's ALIVE!!!!!

I'm back you poor suckers who actually read my pathetic little blog. Tara is gone, the cold is ALMOST gone and the first addition of the Arapahoe Village Newsletter is done. While Jennifer and I were basking in the glory of winning, dreaming of our inauguration, we were informed we took power immediately following the election. What the hell? That meant we were responsible for the September newsletter. Let's see, that was on the 29th. Oh friggin' great. Well, it is done and we have our first meeting today. The kids will be going to day care for the first time ever. It will only be for an hour and a half, but I am freaking the hell out.

Okay, on to other news. I miss Tara already. Here are the two of us in all our drunken glory.