Poop, Paxil, and Pageantry

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

Can You Say Mensa?

My children are so damn intelligent. Please do not be jealous or feel like I am bragging. I just want people to know that I have given birth to the ulitimate Humans!!!! They probably have super powers that they have just not realized.

click to see video

Again, I want to be clear, I am not in any way trying to brag, I am just stating the obvious. My kids are way smarter then your kids. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Oh Yes and you people from Mensa.....quit calling. We are still looking over your brochures.

More updates? Well, I have still not smoked. I really wanted to when my dear and darling husband RAN after a speeder last night. Yes, you read that correctly. Clint did in fact catch up with them only seconds before the MPs did. He gave his "official" statement and the young man was arrested and charged with a DUI. WHOOHOO!!!! One small run for Clint, One giant victory for our neighborhood.

That is all for now my precious little menions (insert evil laugh here).

Friday, May 26, 2006

Still Going

Today is day seven without a cigarette. I am trying to be as public as possible. I have told the kids Mommy quit because it is disgusting and could kill me, I have gotten some Webutrin...........I want to be a non-smoker. Good luck to me.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

I'm Back Jack

Okee dokee, here is the scoopie poopie. I am going to take the Welbutrin in addition to the Paxil, but only for awhile. I REALLY want this time (quitting smoking) to be successful. Side effects.....Could enhance my OCD. I say that like it is a good thing. OCD is great for me. It could also bring out sypmtoms of terets (is that spelled wrong? oh well who friggin' cares) if I already have it and just haven't shown symptoms yet. That could be entertaining. I told Dr. Dawson I would just use that as an excuse if I act like an ass. Clint can't get mad if I have a medical condition. So Karen, do not worry. There will be no change in my title. Whew!!!!!!

Can You Say Sexy Bitch?

That's right, who's your momma? Karen did a friggin' awesome job. I love it!!!! I have to see if I am going to get some buttons for all of you to put on your site. You know not that I am a blog whore or anything. Okay, I am. Is there a twelve step program for attention junkies like me? And my therapist says I am not crazy. Bwhahahahahahaha......I have her fooled. Oh yes, I am on my way to see her in about nine minutes. I made an appointment to see about taking Welbutrin instead of PAxil. I hear it is supposed to help with Cigarette smoking. No, I have not cheated. I want to every now and then. I would really like something to make it easier though. This shit is such a bitch.

Friday, May 19, 2006

Move Over Jenny Craig

I am not only going to quit smoking, but I am also going to take off the winter fluff I have put on.
Here I am in my first before picture....I know I have a way to go, but I think I can do it.

I am going to do some Pilates, Yoga and even a bit of the ol' Tae BO. As you can tell by the picture, I have a bit of toning up to do as well.

Goodbye My Friend

I met you in my early twenties. We had a bit of a love hate relationship at first, but now....it is hard to imagine life without you. You have been with me through good times and bad. So, Marlboro Lights.......thank you for your confort, compassion and for all the good times. I will not give in to my longing. I will never see you again. I will want to. I will miss you at times. Especially after a few drinks. It has just come to the point in my life where I must put my health and my children before you. I hope you understand. I have others now to consider. Goodbye. Quiting is such sweet sorrow!!!!!
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

I wouldn't Come Around These Parts

Friday night I am starting a 6 day detox with Amy and Jenn. I am going to try to quit smoking again. Here is what really made me change my mind.....

Steven and Emily have been biting their little nails.....I am sure because they have seen Mommy do it. I do not want them to bite their nails. It is a yucky habit. So, Mommy quit biting her nails and I have been on them like flies on shit to keep their fingers out of their mouths.

This is where it began. I am willing to stop biting my nails because it had an adverse effect (affect...shit whichever) on my children, but I was still smoking. HMMMMMMMM....Studies hsow that a very high percentage of children with parents who smoke will one day smoke themselves. I believe this. My parents smoked and My younger brother and I both picked up the habit (he to a much lesser degree). I do not want my children to ever smoke. I do not want to be the reason they smoke. I want nothing but the best for them and if I am willing to stop biting my nails, how ridiculous that I would not quit a cancer causing habit. So, I am going to do it. There is no trying about it. I am going to quit because not only is it the best thing for my own health, it is a committment I am making to my three children.

It is going to be hard as friggin' hell.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

I Love Grey's Anatomy

Okay, did you catch the season finale last night.....if you didn't, here is what you missed......
McDreamy and Meredith got it on. Holy Shit....what does this mean? She was dating The VET. I love the vet. The whole, widow...my wife died...I quit making plans and now I am making plans....Holy Shit...Makes your heart melt. Sounds like something Clint would say. Yes, I have the perfect husband. Take every dreamy, wonderful character on TV and you have Clint.

Okay, off track....let's see...what else freaked me out....uhm well nothing really......I mean Izzy quit after saying all this crap about people only see her as th epretty girl who can't accomplish shit and then she goes and quits the program because heart dude dies? What the hell?!?! Seems like you would work even harder to be able to save other people. Stupid!!!!!!!!

Asian girl decides to be supportive of Burke. So glad....they make a strange but believable couple. George says he will tell weird girl he loves her when he "feels" it......Whatever!!!!

Okay, that is my take on that shit.
Now, I am just waiting for the Desperate Housewives season finale.........

Saturday, May 13, 2006

Things that make you go HMMMMMMMM

A sneeze travels out your mouth at over 100 m.p.h.!
(found at StrangeFacts)
HMmmmmmmmm......Bird Flu? Need to move out to the country and but a shit load of supplies so I do not need to be around a bunch of germ (death) carrying people. I really am getting a bit paranoid about this bird flu thing. My heart was aching just from a little RSV. Did anyone see the TV movie about it? I couldn't watch it. Are you friggin' kidding me? I would be sitting here wearing a mask and surgical gloves as I typr if I had watched that show.

More money is spent on gardening than on any other hobby!
(found at Strange Facts)
Dear God I know that is true. We just finished praying to the weed god and asking him to please move along. We were not sure what to sacrifice. After arguing about who would get to sacrifice their children, we finally decided to offer up a bit of dog shit!!!

In Rochester, Michigan, the law is that anyone bathing in public must have the bathing suit inspected by a police officer (found at Strange facts)
I bet we would have a lot more people lining up to join our police services if this law was enforced.

In Texas, it is still a "hanging offense" to steal cattle.
This is why I Love Texas. I think we souhld increase the reasons a person can be hanged. I want to hang many many people. Especially child predators. Let's stop the cycle. Kill all pedophiles. End in insanity!!!!! Oh shit, I guess I could get off my soap box unh?

Thank God Daddy is Home

Oh what a life. I am pretty damn glad it is the weekdend. Clint put the little bastards to bed last nitgh. I had gotten to the point with Ethan yesterday that if I had tried to spank him for any other offense, It would have been abuse. He was pushing my buttons in a way that no other human being has ever dared to push.

Luckily today is a fresh day. I would like to give you this to think about.

Eleven women in the area around the nation's capital have bonded, according to a February Washington Post story, around a tall, athletic man of German heritage (with a master's degree and who tans easily), whom none has ever met. The man, known as donor 401, is the one whose sperm each of the women chose to be inseminated with, selected from a biographical catalog of the Fairfax Cryobank. That the women's 12 offspring have a common father has provided powerful motivation for them to learn about each other, as a way of learning about 401 (who has now retired as a donor, though there is still a waiting list for his stored sperm.) [Washington Post, 2-27-06]

For more odd, weird shit, go here.

Do not Forget

Please Remember as we all get involved in our every day lives...Please remember as we complain about the weeds in our yards and the kids being naught. Please remember when your husband leaves the seat up, Please remember when you son comes home drunk for the first time, Please remember when your children crawl up in your lap for a little extra love.....Please remember when you hear you spouse laying next to you snoring,

There are children who will never know their Mother or Father,

Their are children who Must figure out on their own why There parent is gone,

There is a spouse who must be both Mother and Father to their children.

There are Parents who no longer be able to hold their babies,

There are families falling desperatly into poverty because the bread winner of their family is gone,

There are Families that have been ripped apart at the seams.

Please take a few minutes everyday to think of those families who have made the ULTIMATE sacrifice for you and I to continue to enjoy our freedoms.

You must not believe in the war or support George Bush, to believe in our soldiers and support our families. Have an extra day a week? Have an extra $1,000 dollars you were going to spend on Dolca and Gabana sunglasses? Think of all the families who have been fractured. Give to your country and your countrymen any way you can. Give your time, your money, even your prayers will do wonders. Let these families who have been left to pick up the pieces and try to move on know they are not alone!!!!

There are poeple who have some how turned the teachings of Christ into hate.

They should be ashamed of themselves. I find solice in the fact that they will one day be judged for the acts. It is sick and disgusting to see people spew such hate.

Please, do all you can to send these people a message. Are they your neighbors? Do not sell to them, Do not rent to them.

Boycott people who spew such vial. They are sad and pathetic excuses for human beings. They are no better then hitler. And deserve to be treated as such.

Friday, May 12, 2006

A New Breed of Bunny

We have a new breed of bunny here at the Stein house.

If you wait about twenty years, we may decide to breed him and you too could have this newest breed of bunny.

Ethan is obssesed with King Kong (that's what the kids named the she bunny). My little active guy will sit forever and a day just holding and stroking the bunny. Apparently, while Mommy was doing chores, he decided he needed to be close to the bunny.

If he didn't know how to latch himself in and out, I would say we found thye perfect way to keep the little guy contained. Oh and when I asked him what was he doing....."Playing with the bunny". Of course in a tone like a was a complete dumb ass bitch. Was it not obvious to me what he was doing? Shit Mom....you are really not all that bright.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

I am a HUGE weiner....I mean winner

So, apparently my blog looks like shit.

Whoopee big friggin' suprise.
But, guess what I won? That's right....I won a new blog design from TrollBabyGraphics.

Are you jealous? Well, you should be.
BWHAHAHAHAHA

Sunday, May 07, 2006

whiskey with coke

Let me tell you, I love me some whiskey and coke. We are sitting in the front yard hanging out and drinking.I thought I would just say hellooooooooooo to all of you folks who may actually stop by my little ol' site and CLICK on my ads!!!!!

Oh and by the way, Mother's day is sunday in case you needed reminding.

Later later alligator.

Saturday, May 06, 2006

Amazing Photography Skills

My husband is so very talented. He has taken "a certain someone's" little bitty boobies and made them look uhm......like that certain someone had hit puberty after all.

I suppose this is my lame attempt to make up for not playing any games. Here is Half Nekkid Thursday.

Friday, May 05, 2006

The Da Vinci Code

HOLY SHIT!!!!!
I just finished reading the Da Vinci Code and I am so in love with it. It was so damn good. I didn't want it to be over. Now I want to go and do shit loads of research to see what parts of the book were actually non-fiction. Have you read it? NO?!?! Well, you should. it is so good. I am fixing to start reading a Patricia Cornwell book. I am so behind on her books.

If you have not already figured it out, I got a library card. Oh dear god, I am in heaven.

I took the kids awhile back to "snuggle-up storytime" at the library. It was so cute. All the little jackasses in their jammies, sitting on the floor and listening to the librarian. I will definently take them again.

Oh, wondering where I have been? Well, I have been caring for the zoo we now have. We were given a bunny and two rats. This is added to the cocker spaniel and of course the sugar glider. The kids love it. They are such little animal lovers. We got a book from the library all about animals, so we have been reading about our new pets.

Did you miss me? Maybe a little?