Poop, Paxil, and Pageantry

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Happy Anniversary to Us

Today, Clint and I have been married for four years.

We have three children that both of us deeply love. We have three children that both of us look at and ask "do we have three children?" Holy shit, our lives have changed so much in the last four years. I have heard Clint walking around the house singing a tune from the wiggles. I have seen him show more patience then I knew was humanly possible. We have been shit on, pissed on and puked on. We have wiped other peoples' asses. We have had to put the needs of others before our own. Beer and wine is no longer for entertainment, it is a necessity.

Clint stood by me through the death of my mother. He stood by me through pregnancy weight gain and loss (which is totally his fault). He has loved me through post partum depression. He has loved me through fights with my friends and fights with my family. He loves me for all my good and bad. He has taught me more about marriage and love in this four years then I learned in the 27 years prior to having known him. Clint is an extraordinary father, husband, lover and friend. He makes me a better person, a better mother, a better friend and a better wife. Happy four years Clint.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Well, What the Hell Does that Mean?

Clint came home with more albuterol for Ethan's nebulizer and steoids. I am not sure what that means....is it in his lungs? I would love an explanation, not just medication given to Clint. I really only care if the little guy gets better, but I am an information person. I need to be armed with information...wether good or bad I must know all I can so I am prepared for everything. Boy, that sounds like a mental disorder if I have ever heard one. I am serious though. When my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, I had an entire notebook of reaserch I had done. Maybe she wasn't the information type of personality. She was more of the denial personality.

The kids and I will be cleaning out the zoo cages today. I am not sure , but I think I hate Pine bedding. I really prefer the odorless crap. With the pine, it stinks even before they piss on it. Do not get me wrong, I love my bunny, guinea pigs, sugar glider and Tanner. They are just stinky more then I would like. I clean out there cages a minimum of twice a week. The kids "help" too. Oh yes the help of a bunch of preschoolers. CALGON TAKE ME AWAY!!!!!!!!!!

Last night Emily decided to puke right in the middle of an albuterol treatment. Sh ecaught it all in her hand, but as I ran for a towel, the puke spewed again. Too much for a three year old to hold in her hand. Then lucky me, as I am on the ground cleaning puke off the carpet, she decided to expell the last of the puke in her mouth with a few good, deep coughs. They landed on my face. OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ethan managed to puke on me yesterdat as well, along with half of the stairs. I really would like a vacation. I need to get away. Why do my relatives not work for southwest? I could fly to see my friends at home. Well, and my Grandmother and Brother. (that was my subtle way of giving you an update that my Dad is gone).

Monday, June 26, 2006

Please, Not Again.

So, ten days ago, all the kids started coming down with colds. No big deal right?!?!?! Well, then on Monday, they started waking up with green goop, sealed eyes. Yes ladies and gentlemen, we also had pink eye. We took all three children to the doctor on Wednesday. They all had pink eye and ear infections. Well, five days of eye drops and antibiotics and Steven and Emily are doing fine. Ethan.....not so much. He goes back to the doctor this afternoon. He is not eating, but when he does, he throws it up. He has gone from 10 to 12 cups a day to 2 maybe 3 if we are lucky. He also has diarrhea...which doesn't surprise me with the antibiotics, but since he is not keeping up with the consumption end, I worry about dehydration. He also seems to be having labored breathing and remember not to long ago we had the fun hospital vacation with the RSV.......well, let's just say, Clint and I are very concerned. Please do not let it be phenomena. UGH!!!!!

Okay, so more movies. We watched Underworld. I liked it. I am now interested to see Underworld 2. I thought the background story was great. Vampires and Lycan (werewolves)....how fun is that. Three shit logs for sure. Lots of action and gore.

Next was Memoirs of a Geisha. It was a nice story, but dear god......It took two hours and it felt like four!!!! So, 1 and a half...maybe two shit logs.

Then....Just Friends. All I am really going to say about this movie is...Thank God that Amy owned it and Clint and I paid not a single penny....I actually feel like sending them a bill for my time. What a ridiculous movie. I will be kind and give it a broken off shit log. Yes...that's right, not even an entire shit log for this piece of crap movie.

Last but not least....Into the Blue. This movie actually exceeded my expectations. Not only does Jessica Alba have the ass all of us women dreamed we could have, but the story line and cinematography was great. Man, the scenery was beautiful. Believe it or not, I give this movie three shit logs.

We will probably watch the new version of Shaft tonight. Hmmmmmm....wonder if that will be any good.

I am going to be listing some stuff on Ebay and will post a link later. I expect everyone to buy something from me they do not need or want. Thanks ahead of time.

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Movies and Movies and More Movies

Clint and I have watched a crap load of movie this weekend. On a scale of one shit log being the worst up to five shit logs (a really clean colon) being the best, I will rate the movies.

First, The Weatherman. I am a fan of Nicolas Cage and I am a fan of this movie. There are some great lines and some great laughs, all while you are faced with the not so glamorous reality of life. If you liked Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, I think you will like this movie. I am going to recommend this movie and give it four shit logs.

Second, we watched Derailed. I did not predict the outcome, but Clint did. He picked up on the "twist" pretty early on. I thought the movie was entertaining, but a little slow in some spots. the twist was good and the ending suprising. I guess this movie would be a 2 and a half...maybe three shit logs.

Let me see, next was The Hills Have Eyes. I did not know until the same day we watched the movie that it was a remake. Now, this being said, I have not seen the original, thus my opnions are based solely on the new version. I love horror movies and generally find them merely entertaining and not the least bit scarey. This one however, did have me a bit on edge. I really enjoyed it and would watch it again. It was fun, fun, and more fun. I give it three and a half shit logs for sure.

We also watched Fun With Dick and Jane. This movie is also a remake, of which I was also unaware until the same day I watched the movie. (what is with all the remakes? Lack of creativity...what?!?!?!) I do love a good Jim Carey movie. This movie was mildly entertaining. I would give it two shit logs. I would have to say it was worth the time it took to watch it, but I would not watch it again. Once was enough.

We will be watching Memoirs of a Geisha next. I have heard a lot of good things about it so....I 'll let you know.

Oh, and last night, Clint and I headed out to celebrate our anniversary. Well, didn't really happen. Tanner decided to take off while we were gone. We turned around to come home and help in the search. About half way home, Amy called to say they had found him, but we were no longer in the mood to turn around again and head back out. We came home and watched a movie. Maybe we will make another attempt, maybe not.

I have also found Clint and I completly disagree on the whole homeschooling thing. He is worried our kids will be huge weirdos and I am worried they won't. I want them to look to us for guidance and approval. Not their friends. I want theem to be a bit naive. I am okay with that. I do not like the things our young children are exposed to so early on. I am not against sending them off once we have established a firm foundation. I do not know. Parenting is so damn scarey. You just want what is best for you kids and I'll be damned if their isn't a friggin' manual. I know I screw up sometimes, but I want them to grow up to be good people like my brothers and I. Like my sister in laws and my brother in law. I want them to be caring, kind and smart. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Deep in the Heart of Texas

Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....if you are not interested in a Katy pity party, I suggest you move along. See that red X up in the right hand corner? Feel free to push it now. Do not leave me some stupid friggin' comment about how stupid I am. I have no problem deleting comments that go against me and my opinion. Why you say? Well, to be frank (not that I want to be some guy named frank, I just mean to speak frankly, openly, no holds barred) I do not give a shit about any opinion other then my own in this particular venue because this is MY blog and I will say whatever the hell I feel like saying. HMMMMPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! I am probably saying that for my own reassurance then for those few people who may have any interest in what a boring stay at home mom may have to say about her kids shit, her own shit or the dog's shit.

Now, that being said, I would like to open with the fact that I am feeling super duper homesick. Not so much for Texas (yes, yes do not get me wrong, I miss the shit out of Texas), but for my family. Now, this is where I let the cat out of the bag that I am no longer speaking to my Dad's wife and because of that I am sure I will no longer hear from him. Sad!!! Very Sad!!! I now have one dead parent and one parent I will probably never see again because I choose not to accept mediocrity for me or for my family. I suppose my Dad being a big boy can choose to do what he feels is right. Apparently it is right for him to not spend time with HIS children or grandchildren. I have lived here away from Texas oh beautiful Texas for 2 and a half years. He has not once come to visit. Clint's Mom is fixin' (for christie..inside joke) to come to visit for the third, no fourth time. His sister has been here twice and his brother will be here in a few weeks. Now, I understand my Dad and his wife were not financially able (don't even get me started on that topic) but Clint and I offered to get him up here for a four day weekend over father's day. We had an airline voucher....talk about saving some money. You want to know his answer....He couldn't afford to be off work and he did not think that would go over well at home. It is funny I am just know having to realize how little my family actually wants to be involved with each other. I see other families who make ours look like a sea of sanity yet we are the family who does not spend time together. There are things we all find fucked up about one another. None of us are perfect. We all say and do stupid shit, but I always thought part of being a family was just saying well.....fuck it...I love you and want to be around you and a part of your life no matter what. Apparently I just adopted these qualities from other families because my family does not share in this sentiment. I am the first to admit I have a big fucking mouth, especially when it has to do with my brothers and my parents. I want to defend them, even if it is something they do not feel they need to be defended from. I want nothing but happiness for them. I want to be with them. I want our kids to know each other and love each other. I am sick for some family. I want to yell and scream and fight with each other and then turn around and hug, grab a beer and talk about how stupid that whole situation was. I want to be able to say, hey I know I have a big mouth. I want them to say...hey I know whatever they would say (insert horrible herendously disgusting things here.....just kidding). I want to not be jealous of my husband's family. Shit, they are all just as crazy as my family, they have just as much baggage, but you know what....they all know they love each other and they all get over IT. They respect each others opinions. They admit when they are wrong, no matter how wrong. They do not let holidays pass without so much as a phone call. I want that. I want a family. I want my kids to know there aunts and uncles. All of them no matter what are wonderful people. I want them to know my Dad, I want my Dad to WANT to know them and to see me. They will never know my Mom. She was crazy. I mean certifiabley crazy. She needed meds, but that was back before we as a society were okay with mental disorders. Now we can at least stand up and say we are crazy and EVERYONE else says ME TOO. She was a good mom too. She loved us even when she couldn't show it. We fought like the dickens, but I knew she still loved me. It was a look, a phone call asking me some question she didn't need to ask. I wish my kids could have known her. She would have loved them My Dad has that chance but doesn't take it. I am mad, I am sad, I jealous, I want to have a family that is in love with each other. Both of my sister in laws have mothers who, as they put it (I am not directly quoting) can sometimes be too involved. I would love to have too involved. I think too involved is way better then dead and indifferent. I miss my Parents. I miss my friends. I want to go home.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Lions and Tigers and Bears, OH MY

So, I told you before that Clint and I took the kids to the circus. Well, It was so much fun.

Emily couldn't keep her eyes of the clowns.

She was completely and utterly fascinated. Steven was terrified. Everytime a clown tried to say eye, give him five or even looked in his direction, he would scream and holler. Too funny. Ethan couldn't care less. He really marches to the beat of a different drummer. He did however find himself as a clown quite amusing.

Mommy and Daddy made really great clowns as well. Don't you agree?!?!

Clint also found time last week to build the twins toddler size bunk beds. Could these things be any cuter?

So much cheaper then buying furniture. How did I get so lucky to have such a hard working husband. He is so good to the kids, me and of course my family. I can not imagine living life without someone who takes such wonderful care of the kids and I.

Oh yes, and the kids have something they would like to say.

"Mahmaw, we can't wait to see you."

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Homeschooling and a bit of an Update

Well, the kids and I are about to start homeschooling. When we finish these little basic work books that there wonderful Aunt Tara got them, we willbe going into full swing. Something that I am excited about is the Child Development center here on post is offering Spanish classes.

To anyone who already home schools, please e-mail me with any tipyou have. I am open to most suggestion. I am really building my own curriculum and trying to go straight from preschool into a kindergarten curriculum. I am just a bit nervous.

Man, my head is killing me. Clint and I drank long island iced teas while watching the sapranos last night. OUCH!!!!! Oh and for the record, I did cheat with the smoking last night. I went out to talk to Amy and Jenna and I think it was mainly because I had been drinking. At least it wasn't in fromt of my kids. I will recover. I am determined not to be a "smoker".

Clint and I will be celebrating our 4 year anniversary next Thursday. I can't believe it. It just seems like yesterday and in a way, it feels like forever. We get along so well, share so many of the same values and goals and man, I feel like he knows what I feel before I feel it. I guess in that way, I feel like I have known him my entire life. Life before my darling husband seems so far away and hardly existent. Man, I love him. I am so damn lucky to have married such a beautiful man both inside and out.

Oh yes, we also took the kids to the circus. We got free tickets and let me tell you, I loved it as much as the kids. The clowns were wonderful, the acrobatics spectacular.....The kids and I were in complete and utter delight. I have pictures and will post them later.

Friday, June 16, 2006

Smoking? Who Smokes?

Sense a few of you actually are interested, here is an update....

No, I am not smoking. Yes, I want to smoke. I would love a cigarette right now. If I hadn't made such a production out of it and told my children Mommy could die from smoking, I would be outside with an entire pack lit up and hanging from my mouth. I found smoking to be very relaxing, so now I must find something else to relax me. I just haven't figured out what else does that except for maybe candy. MMMMMMMMM....CANDY!!!!!

I will do my best to keep not smoking. Please send candy.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Here Come the Inlaws

I am pretty darn excite. July is going to be so much fun. Clint's Mom is coming for a week and his brother, sister in law, niece and nephew are coming for.....uhm......awhile. They are going to be here for an indefinent amount of time. I am pretty excited that my kids will get to build up a relationship with their cousins. I am such a family girl. It is almost an addiction. If I could buy a big honkin' piece of land and build everyone houses (spread out of course) I would. I lov ethe idea of cousins growing up together and families dining together, learning together and growing together. I am very lucky to have some great in laws.

Have I said before how ready I am to get back to Texas? I want so badly to be close to everybody. Well, closer anyways.

My older brother called me last night for my vital info so if something were to happen to he and his wife, I would have my little adorable baby girls Kelly and Missy. I swear, my brother makes some pretty babies, which is amazing considering he got all the bad genes.....kidding of course. We have no bad genes....okay kidding again. I mean really though, we are half way intelligent folk and we all manage to provide for our families and live like good, kind well adjusted adults and of course we all have intelligent, good looking spouses.

Damn my parents did a good job.....too bad they do not follow their own teachings. Funny how that happens, but really......my parents (well, my Mom is dead now, but when she was alive) have taken "do as I say and not as I do" to a whole new, ridiculous level.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Gotta Love Ben

This goes along so perfectly with things that have been going on with my family.

"Laziness travels so slowly that poverty soon overtakes him"
Benjamin Franklin,"The Way to Wealth"

How Do You Define Family

There is a "bit" of drama going on in my family. No, it has nothing to do with my sister in law. I think that entire situation will work itself out. Thesituation does bring me to a question. How do we define family. I have always been a bit (using that term loosely) of a big mouth. I have a hard time not saying what I think. I am working on it. I know this is a fault, but still happens. Especially when it comes to my friends and family. I have a tendency to get my feathers all in a ruffle when I am not happy with the treatment of someone I love. I feel like if you screw with them, you screw with me. Very Sopranos in my thinking I know. I feel like a families live should be unconditional. No mattre how mad you get, or how your life changes, your family should be a priority. My husband is my #1. Then my children. next are my Dad, Grandmother and brothers. I would always take my husbands side in any situation, but if I felt he was wrong, I would tell him. Shit I tell him now and he is never wrong, I am usually just PMSing. Do you feel the need to defend your family? Am I alone in this?

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Periodontal Disease and Me

I went to the dentist last week (the first time in sixteen years...hey, if you haven't had dental insurance, it is expensive as shit!!!) There was good and bad news. I only have one small cavity (can you believe that....It is because I brush like a crazt ass), but I have periodontal disease (that is because I do not floss like a crazy lady). Don't know what that is? Well if you read this, you will know. I now have to rinse with this special mouthwash (tastes like complete ass) twice a day, floss once a day, pick my teeth twice a day and massage my gums three or more times a day. I went yesterday and had my gums scraped all out. Not a problem since they numbed my mouth. I go back in August to have the other side done. Thank god for United Concordia (our dental insurance).

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

The Artist Prepares

My little man is quite the artist. He takes hours to prepare before he begins his artwork. His pens must be prepared in a special painstaking manner.

Can't see exactly what's going on? Let's take a closer look.

Still not close enough? Confused?

Ah yes, this is where all great artists keep their tools. Right in the ass crack.

And for those of you who have missed the poop stories.......this was really funny until he took a shit with those things in his asscrack. Needless to say, Daddy had to wash and sanitize the little man's artistic tools.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Hello Sgt. Stein

Well, we are now part of the big bad NCO (non-commissioned officer) world. Clint was pinned Friday by his Colonel. I say pinned.....these new ACUs (Army Combat Uniforms) have everything attached with velcro. So it was more like rip off and pat on, but hey he is a SGT.

Congratulations dear husband for a job well done....as usual.
Oh and by the way, Clint just made a 100 on one of his finals. Only six more classes until that bachelors degree.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Way Back Wednesday (on Thursday)

Well, I really am a day late, but hey....three kids, a bunny, a dog, a sugar glider and a husband. What the hell do you want from me people. I am lucky I have time to wipe my ass.
(This is not my only post today, so you better look at my other shit, or I will hunt you down and crap in your yard)
So, Way Back Wednesday......Graduation

Here Hope (my friend who is currently not speaking to me, but will again....who can resist my charm) and I are on the big day. Graduating from High School. A place both of us were not overly fond of.

Where in the hell did we get those friggin' ridiculous dresses and who let those caterpillars crawl on our faces? Why did people not introduce us to the tweezers or the wax? Could they not see our eyebrows?

Ah yes, the grand entrace. Little did my parents know....I would get married in less then a year and come down those same stairs and stay married for less then a year. Man, Did I think I knew it all.

Again, eveidence that I thought I was one bad ass bitch.

A Day Late and A Dollar Short

Clint and I went on an excursion this last weekend. We actually went all by ourselves. Amy kept the kids and off we went. We drove to Canon City and visited the Royal Gorge.

It is the home of the highest suspension bridge. It is located over the Arkansas river. Talk about beautiful...I can't even imagine what the Grand Canyon looks like.
Clint and I both found it quite amusing that they felt the need to post a "NO FISHING" sign from the bridge. Man, you had better have a bunch of line.

Four days after our glorious trip to the gorge, some yahoo jumped off the bridge. Dammit, we miss all the good shit.

The weekend before that, the Sky Sox had a military appreciation day. Daddy took the twins to their first baseball game.