Poop, Paxil, and Pageantry

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Addicted to FREE

Okay, someone has got to help me. I am addicted to Freecycle (search your yahoo groups for one in your area). It is all Jennifer's fault. I am even watching things in Texas. I can't get them, but I like to see what people are just giving away. Oh and Craigslist. You should check it out in your area. I look at ours every morning. I have no money, but I sure look for shit I don't need.

And a big thank you goes out to Rhianna for the Margarita. Man, you are one sweet bitch.

I am on a hunt for a new photo for my profile and we all know it can not be a picture of myself. The thing with that is, everyone will be jealous of my beauty, plus I will have to start worrying about stalkers and all. Anyways, I was searching for a picture of some drugged out, used up beauty/prom queen and I came across the Freaking News. I laughed my ass off as I searched through the site. You should give it a wee little look.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Where milk comes from

Apparently I did not explain udders well enough the first time. Let me try again. No, you do not pull on two penises and milk comes out. those are udders. they are boobies on the cows. It is just like the mommies who breast feed their babies. They ARE NOT penises. they are udders.

Hopefully they are able to grasp the idea now. I may also have to explain Iraq a little better. The kids keep asking when we are going to Iraq. WE are NOT going. Just Daddy. He can't take us with. No, Sears is not Iraq nor is WalMart.

Clint has a physical today for some additional life insurance. I am a prepare for the worst and hope for the best kind of person. i want to have all my ducks in a row....just in case. I am always open to planning advice. Got any?

Monday, September 25, 2006

I'm Back!!!

So, I have been in a bit of a funk. Let's see ifI can catch everyone up on thelast month and a half.

We went to Texas to visit family. I had such a great time. We went to Sprintown first and visited with Clint's family. The kids had a lovely time. Mama and Papa have a four wheeler that Mommy liked way mor ethen the kids. I definently have a need for speed.

I think the kids freaked Papa out a bit while we were there. My kids use the proper names (penis and vagina) for their private bits. Papa took all my babies out on a four wheeler ride. When the kiddos saw a new calf nursing, they asked Papa why one cow was sucking the other cows penis. I guess I really need to get them out a bit more.

We then went to San Antonio. That stay was short and sweet. We had a great time there as well. Nana and Grandad took the kids to wal-mart to pick out toys. They loved that. So now, we have more toys. Man, these kids are spoiled.

The kids have now been introduced to the belt. We are having a bit of trouble with them following the rules and listening. I was spanked with the belt (a little too vigorously) as a child, so the first beatings were a bit traumatic for Mommy. I have the hang of it now. Watch out babies!!!!!

Clint leaves in less then two weeks. I was actually doing great with it and then ALL my neighbors moced. Damn, there goes my security blankets. Bitches!!!!!

So, If anyone is looking to relocate, you are welcome to come stay with me. Especially if you drive in the snow. I have never driven in the snow and want to know another pathetic little secret? I have only spent the night alone in a house without another adult one time in my entire life. Yes, I am pathetic.

Now, I am not generally one to be very open about my emotions. I will tell you all other kinds of things most people consider really private. To me though, my thoughts and emotions are very intimate and private. I am going to try to be a bit mor eforthcoming. I need to. i need to not get into a funk for my children's sake and for my own emotional well being.

I am lucky to have a friend as great as Tara though. She is coming to be with the kids and I at Christmas. Tnaksgiving? That's another story.
As soon as Clint downloads the pictures from our trip, I will show you some of our goodtimes!!!